Den of the Beastly Bear
Hi Folks!
Ok, so here's the update on the stolen gun.
I decided that I'd try an end run around mom and contact the police myself.
After 5 mins. of explaining the situation, Kathy the very helpful officer there took my info and contacted the property dept. to find out if they did in fact still have possession of the gun and that it had not been destroyed.
So a few hours later she called me back to tell me that the gun has not been destroyed and it is residing in the property department at the Waterford Police Station.
She gives me the number of the property department control officer and tells me if I give them a call they will be happy to tell me what I have to do to get the gun back.
Great, I figure I might have to produce a death certificate or something like that, but other than that transferring a handgun in the state of Michigan if you're a concealed weapons permit holder is really quite easy. A little bit of paperwork and that's it.
So I call the station, he tells me all I have to do is produce a copy of the document stating that I am executor of the estate and then he will submit a report to the chief to sign, and in 3 or 4 days I'll get the gun. Here's the problem, I am NOT the executor of the estate...
my mother is!
So if I want the gun, I have to involve my mother.
So I call my mother, and told her what I'd done and I told her that if she didn't want the gun that I certainly did! It's a cool little gun and I'd love to have it!
"I thought you were mad that I made a bad decision, I didn't know you wanted it."
"Well," she says "now I don't know what to do. After I talked to you on Monday, and heard how pissed off you were I called my friend "Bill" that used to be the Waterford police chief, and had him look into whether they'd destroyed it or not. He said he'd get back with me, but I haven't heard from him yet. Who did you call?"
"Waterford police, Officer W. he said all we have to do is drop off a copy of your executor papers, and of course you are the one that has to pick it up."
"Bill told me Officer W. works in Troy..."
"Nope, called Waterford."
"I didn't want to seem greedy, but I thought I could sell it and that would help me pay my taxes this year. And I didn't think you'd want it...you've got enough guns."
WHAT??? WHAT?!?
THAT boys and girls is simply not DONE!!!
That is tantamount to telling a woman she has enough jewelry or shoes, so she shouldn't want any more!!!
And unless you're paying my note each month, you get ZERO say in what I have enough of and what I don't!
She tells me this while she has $2-3,000.00 worth of guitars, a banjo and an electric keyboard of Jerry's she's been meaning to sell for over a year, sitting in her living room!!!
And she still has Jerry's very low mileage SUV sitting in the driveway, which he gave her with the stipulation that she sell her vehicle AND his and get herself a new car....still not done 2 years later. Still paying insurance and registering both vehicles...but she needs that $600 from that gun for her taxes....right.
She had to let me go because she had a doctors appointment, but wants me to get back with her tomorrow (Friday) to discuss what to do (huh?),
and says we can go to the police station together.
I told her we didn't both need to go to drop off a piece of paper, that I could do that for her. But I'd certainly go with her to pick up the gun.
At this point I'm so fed up with her I can't stand it!
My original thought was that she just didn't think of asking...now to find out she tried deciding FOR me that I didn't need it, galls all the more.
I'd spoken with her since Monday, and she said not a word about trying to get that gun back...and had I not called myself I'm betting she'd have got it back, sold it, and I'd have never known.
Guess I shouldn't have told her what it was worth and made my case on strictly sentimental value. But I'm not built that way...
It's Pure "doggie bone" syndrome.
You know, dogs got a bone it's ignoring...until you try to take it, then suddenly they're all about that bone and you can't have it. You walk away, dog ignores the bone again!
Oh well...
Be Well Folks!
Beastly Bear
So a few hours later she called me back to tell me that the gun has not been destroyed and it is residing in the property department at the Waterford Police Station.
She gives me the number of the property department control officer and tells me if I give them a call they will be happy to tell me what I have to do to get the gun back.
Great, I figure I might have to produce a death certificate or something like that, but other than that transferring a handgun in the state of Michigan if you're a concealed weapons permit holder is really quite easy. A little bit of paperwork and that's it.
So I call the station, he tells me all I have to do is produce a copy of the document stating that I am executor of the estate and then he will submit a report to the chief to sign, and in 3 or 4 days I'll get the gun. Here's the problem, I am NOT the executor of the estate...
my mother is!
So if I want the gun, I have to involve my mother.
So I call my mother, and told her what I'd done and I told her that if she didn't want the gun that I certainly did! It's a cool little gun and I'd love to have it!
"I thought you were mad that I made a bad decision, I didn't know you wanted it."
"Well," she says "now I don't know what to do. After I talked to you on Monday, and heard how pissed off you were I called my friend "Bill" that used to be the Waterford police chief, and had him look into whether they'd destroyed it or not. He said he'd get back with me, but I haven't heard from him yet. Who did you call?"
"Waterford police, Officer W. he said all we have to do is drop off a copy of your executor papers, and of course you are the one that has to pick it up."
"Bill told me Officer W. works in Troy..."
"Nope, called Waterford."
"I didn't want to seem greedy, but I thought I could sell it and that would help me pay my taxes this year. And I didn't think you'd want it...you've got enough guns."
WHAT??? WHAT?!?
THAT boys and girls is simply not DONE!!!
That is tantamount to telling a woman she has enough jewelry or shoes, so she shouldn't want any more!!!
And unless you're paying my note each month, you get ZERO say in what I have enough of and what I don't!
She tells me this while she has $2-3,000.00 worth of guitars, a banjo and an electric keyboard of Jerry's she's been meaning to sell for over a year, sitting in her living room!!!
And she still has Jerry's very low mileage SUV sitting in the driveway, which he gave her with the stipulation that she sell her vehicle AND his and get herself a new car....still not done 2 years later. Still paying insurance and registering both vehicles...but she needs that $600 from that gun for her taxes....right.
She had to let me go because she had a doctors appointment, but wants me to get back with her tomorrow (Friday) to discuss what to do (huh?),
and says we can go to the police station together.
I told her we didn't both need to go to drop off a piece of paper, that I could do that for her. But I'd certainly go with her to pick up the gun.
At this point I'm so fed up with her I can't stand it!
My original thought was that she just didn't think of asking...now to find out she tried deciding FOR me that I didn't need it, galls all the more.
I'd spoken with her since Monday, and she said not a word about trying to get that gun back...and had I not called myself I'm betting she'd have got it back, sold it, and I'd have never known.
Guess I shouldn't have told her what it was worth and made my case on strictly sentimental value. But I'm not built that way...
It's Pure "doggie bone" syndrome.
You know, dogs got a bone it's ignoring...until you try to take it, then suddenly they're all about that bone and you can't have it. You walk away, dog ignores the bone again!
Oh well...
Be Well Folks!
Beastly Bear
This is so shameful to place a materialistic item over the care and love of your mother. She meant no ill intent since it appears that the gentleman left you guns, I hope your mother is not in the position that she "really" needs the money to help her out, because she has a son that only cares about his own selfish needs. I hope she never reads or learns of this blog. You need to appreciate your loved ones in your life, they may not be around forever.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous, thank you for dropping in. It's apparent you did not read the previous post for the set up to this situation. Had you read with care, instead of jumping to conclusions you would see that my mother, is not in fact in "need" of selling this gun for tax money. And in fact wanted nothing to do with it, to sell or otherwise until I was upset she told them to destroy it! As far as her reading this, I have nothing to hide and write nothing here I won't say to someone's face, again I'm not built that way. Where you get "my own selfish needs" from I don't know, again I assume it comes from not reading with care or ascribing your own value set to me. Also, I don't see being upset over an incident as negating my love and appreciation of my mother, again I am not you.
DeleteI do welcome all comments, even those that disagree with me. I hope if you are a first time reader you'll take a look at some of my other posts. If you're a long time reader I hope you'll keep coming back.
All is fair to disagree in the blog world. But knowing both Joe and Marie...err his mother, you couldn't be further from the truth! If you can't find humor and sometimes agitation with your family it's going to be a loooonnnnngggg lifetime. Get a sense of humor anonymous! We all have had dog bone syndrome with someone in our family.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI removed previous comment as it was just bashing the Anon poster. However, Joe is a kind guy who loves his mother very much. He is a generous person and just because family can sometimes be frustrating is no reason to judge him as you do not really know him.
ReplyDeleteI don't know Anon so I won't judge him, but I think he owes this blogger the same courtesy. I assume the Beastly Bear loves his mother, but moms can be exasperating at sometimes. Also I do not read that it is about materialism, I read that that gun has sentimental value toward a man BB loved.
DeleteThanks guys I appreciate the support!
DeleteWell...I understand the frustration here and I also understand her "thinking" for you. Perhaps at the heart of this situation is that many older (don't know your Mom's age) people think very strongly about their own needs above all others. Seems to be a natural occurrence though that doesn't make it any easier to accept.
ReplyDeleteGiven this, I'd only suggest you put on your very patient hat and suggest that the gun be retrieved and then offer to buy it from her. You can't decide for her (what to sell) anymore than she can for you (how many guns you need) nor apply your own logic to her thinking.
Hope it all works out cuz really, you only get one Mom.
Jo, agreed. In the end it is in fact an inanimate object and there is no way I'll let the outcome affect our relationship. I told her if she decides to sell it that's fine as long as it's not being destroyed. It's just annoying that she didn't want it until I did.
DeleteThis is simply a communication issue. Work harder at it.
ReplyDeleteHow is this a communication issue?!? Again, obvious you only read this post!
DeleteI actually communicate quite well, thank you very much.
Thank you for dropping in and caring enough to leave a comment.
It's a communication issue because you brought up the monetary value of the gun instead of being vulnerable and asking for the gun because it had sentimental meaning to you. Read your own blog, Bear.
DeleteIf YOU had read, you would see that I only brought up the monetary value AFTER telling her she should have checked first to see if someone else wanted it. AND telling her if she didn't want it AND didn't want anyone else to have it, only at THAT point could she have gotten it back and gotten money for it!
DeleteAt what point were you clear with her that you wanted the gun. NEVER. That's why it's a communication issue. This basement dweller is sad that you can't simply ask for the gun. You need to work this out with your mother not me. Sometimes "anonymous" have good points, but when people are close minded they can't learn. Be a learner not a loser.
DeleteSooooo you didn't read this:
Delete"So I call my mother, and told her what I'd done and I told her that if she didn't want the gun that I certainly did! It's a cool little gun and I'd love to have it!"
It's in the blog post above!
As Shakespeare wrote "You accomplish nothing in besting a fool!"
And obviously I accomplish nothing here...and now I've sunk to your level, I guess you win!
BEAR, it is not a communication issue and it is not like you are taking food from your mothers mouth. This didn't exist until a week ago. Ignore annonymous, you will have people that disagree. They are a casual reader those of us that know you, know perfectly well what is going on and why you are so frustrated. I hate "poor Mom syndrome" as much as I hate dog bone syndrome! Argh, frustrated for you! Jenny Benny
ReplyDeleteThank you Jenny Benny, I knew you'd understand...knowing as you do! ;-)
DeleteEnjoy your time down south, tell Stanley I said "Hello".
Sounds like the kind of crap my smother pulls with me all the time. She decides what I should and shouldn't be doing, collecting, spending money on, etc. She gave me $100 for my bday. She thought I could buy a new phone with it. I don't want or need one, so I spent it on craft supplies. She harped on me every time she saw me, 'did you get that phone? I gave you the money for a phone.' Well you know what? Dont' give me birthday money with strings attached. That shit drives me crazy.
ReplyDeleteOh JoJo, gotta hate that! When you give a gift of cash you really can't determine how that person spends it. It is after all a gift!
DeleteHaving read your last post, I understand why you feel upset over the situation. Especially if Mum still hasn't sold the vehicle or other things Jerry left. Why continue to keep them, pay insurance if she needs the money? Growling with you.
ReplyDeleteThanks Michelle, my point exactly...
DeleteShe's not hurting for money...she just figures that's $600 less she'll have to pay if she sells it.
I sure can understand why you are pissed. It seems to me that since she obviously don't really need the money she should give that gun to you...someone who really wants it! I would be more than pissed myself. I went round and round with my sister after my dad's death. That was a big can of worms that finally destroyed our relationship forever.
ReplyDeleteI'm not going to fight with her over it, she's executor and can do with it as she pleases...while I would like her to give it to me, at least it's not being destroyed.
DeleteAmazing how it had no value to your mother, until it suddenly had a dollar value! No that there is a monetary value attached, change of heart! She probably wouldn't sell it either Bear. Sounds like a simple case if "oh you want it? Well now I do too!" Typical "estate" behavior!
ReplyDeleteI AM a mother and totally disagree wits your mothers behavior! Signed a different anonymous!
I totally get this and the Anon who took issue with it clearly has reading comprehension issues. Maybe instead of twisting words and taking statements out of context and throwing in their own bullshit, they can best utilize their time by reading ever so slowly because apparently that's the speed at which their brain functions, and maybe get a grasp on this whole blog topic. - Dumb ass.
ReplyDelete