Designer Dogs...?

Den of the Beastly Bear

Hi folks!

I must be getting old...that's gotta be it!

Why do I say that you ask?

Because more and more I find the things people do, and say, and the fads they cling to....well, silly!

I was talking with a friend at work the other day, a fellow not savvy to the ways of the Internet. He told me his girlfriend's Birthday was coming up and she wanted a "Yorkiepoo, it's one of those designer dogs!" and would I help him find a breeder.

A Breeder?!? For Yorkiepoos???

So like a good buddy I looked online....and there are TONS of them! When did this happen?!?

In my day we didn't call these designer dogs...we called them mutts, or mixed breed, or Heinz 57, most often "Whoops"!!!

Not Puggles, or Labradoodles, Yorkiepoos or Goldendoodles!! MUTTS!!!

We HAD designer dogs...every AKC/UKC breed there IS, is a designer dog!!! That is why we have such diversity, from Chihuahuas to Great Danes!!! Because someone DESIGNED them that way...

Just silly!

The first time I ever heard one of these terms bandied about was from a Vet, some 33 yrs. ago!

My sister had rescued a puppy, more fluff than dog really. She and a friend had found it wandering near a lake, in obvious distress. 

She brought the puppy into my work at the Sporting Goods store, as the pup was tangled in fishing line and had a fish hook through it's lip. Not even having the okay to keep it, she brought it to me to remove the line and hook. Veterinarians cost money!

While she held it, I was able to snip the barb from the hook so it would slide out and a few scissor snips took care of the line.

Once she had it home and bathed, and had my mother talked in to letting her keep it, a Vet visit was in store. To have our families newest addition checked out!

After a thorough exam and all her shots my sister asked what breed the Vet thought it might be.

After looking the pup over again he said:

"Well, definitely poodle and something else...if I had to guess I'd say Schnauzer, I guess you could say she's a Snoodle!" He said with a chuckle.

My sister named her Heidi.

Heidi grew into a small/medium furball...vaguely poodlesque. She attached herself to our Mom as my sister had just started to drive, and once she had that freedom she was g-o-n-e! 

Both my sisters were married and out of the house, long before me...and when they left, their pets stayed.

One particular day I'd come home from a long, hot day at work. Fixed myself a cocktail of Black Velvet whiskey and Canada Dry ginger ale, with a splash of Rose's lime juice. Grabbed the newspaper (yes boys and girls, before the Internet that's how we got our news) and settled in to read.

Mom told me she had ordered a pizza for dinner, and would I mind going to get it. Hell no I didn't mind..it was PIZZA!

So I set my drink on the floor next to the chair and ran up to get the pizza. The pizzeria was close so I wasn't gone that long. When I got back, I set the pizza on the table and went to get my drink. 

As I turned the corner I saw my glass laying on it's side..."Dammit," I thought "I must have knocked it over when I left." So I went to clean up the mess I'd made, I grabbed some paper towel as I was sure the carpet was soaked. I'd only taken a couple drinks out of a 30 oz. tumbler.

So I picked up my glass and ice cubes, and applied the paper towel....

Nothing!!!

How could that be???

About that time Heidi staggered into the room...looked at my glass and licked her lips....no....she wouldn't have...would she?

"Come here Heidi." I called patting my leg.

Heidi slowly walked/staggered over...as usual she jumped up and put her front legs on my thigh so I could rub her neck/head. She smelled of whiskey.

She would put her head back into my palm, relishing the attention...except this time when she put her head back she kept going...right over backwards!!!

She laid there for a moment, sprawled flat on her back, wondering what in the hell just happened I'm sure...before rolling over and standing up again, swaying.
I couldn't help it, I started to laugh...

Heidi threw a "look" over her shoulder as she walked away, even cross species it said: "ASSHOLE!"

Indignantly she started to stomp off and go up stairs...except she couldn't. Oh, she tried mind you...but in her state of inebriation she just couldn't get her legs to cooperate! 

First she tried her left leg...couldn't quite get it up on the first step.
Then she tried her right, again a "no go", finally she curled up in front of the steps...heaved a heavy sigh...and fell fast asleep.

She slept there, uninterrupted for a good 4-5 hours...occasionally snoring, waking herself up to re-position and she was out again. 

The next day I again found myself having a drink and reading the paper, when Heidi sauntered in to see if possibly I had something to eat.

"Hey Heidi, How ya feeling girl?" Yes I talk to animals like people...so sue me! 

I figured she must have been rockin' a MASSIVE hangover! Those 4-5 ounces of whiskey was more like drinking a fifth when you weigh 35 lbs.

She walked over and I held my drink down to see if she wanted some, you know "A little hair of the dog that bit ya!" Lol

Intrigued, she took a sniff...backed up about three feet...and gave me the "ASSHOLE!" look again....
and said "Ruff!!!"
Which I interpreted as not just "no", but "Fuck no!"

Funny how it took the dog just one time....and many of us are still learning! Lol

SILLY!!!

Be Well Folks!

Beastly Bear