Parenting skills???

Den of the Beastly Bear

 My Daughter turned 22 in September, she is a beautiful, level-headed and warm-hearted young woman!

One of the greatest joys of my life was being able(due to working third shift) to spend as much time with her as possible. I was able to do the field trips, make the evening shows/concerts/conferences, it was great!

At night I put her to bed at 9 pm and left for work at 9:30 to start work at 10. When I got out at 6 am, I was home by 6:30 am, got her and her Mom up at 7!!!

While Kathy got ready for work, I made sure Kaitlin got breakfast and ready for school. When Kathy went to work, I'd put Katie on the bus then hit the sack!

When she got home she'd wake me up, I'd fix her an after school snack and we'd do her homework before her Mom got home. When Kathy got home we had dinner together...

This all worked splendidly until summer break, when I would go to bed as soon as I got home, get as much sleep in as I could before she got up. Spend as much time as I could with her, then if she went to a friend's I could grab a little more sleep while she played!

 I tell you all this so you know my Daughter and I are close...no absentee Dad here!

That's not to say I let her slide though...or failed to serve up a little life lesson when required.

When my darling Daughter was about 8, she got it into her head that that she wanted her beautiful waist-length hair cut to her shoulders...like her friend Ashley's. A decision I might add, that I wholeheartedly disapproved of.

But being just a "Dad", she and her Mother conspired to make this happen despite my protests. An appointment was made...and unfortunately, the only appointment available was during the week. School was out, so when the day arrived it fell to the guy that least wanted it done to take her! So, we got up and had breakfast and as I was cleaning up I asked her:

"So, how much hair are you having cut off?"              

"To about here..." She said, pointing to her shoulders.

"Why do you want to cut off all your beautiful hair?" 

"Because I want my hair as short as Ashley's"(whose house she was going down to play at until we had to leave for her appointment)

"Well if you're going to cut your hair THAT short, you might as well just shave your head and go bald!" I quipped.

"I will.... if you will" she laughed, and she was out the door.

"Back at 10!" I called as the door closed behind her.

I'd been wearing a short flat top for the last couple years, and I was up for a change. I gotta say that her flippant attitude set none too well, waking the Beastly Bear. Time for one of those life lessons.  :-)

So I broke out the clippers and reduced my flat top to stubble! Jumped in and took a shower, then lathered up and shaved it smooth! My head people!! Minds out of the gutter please!

 You should have seen the look on her face when she bopped in the door at precisely 10am!!! She stared at me a minute and said "Daddy? What did you do?"

I gave her my most innocent look and replied

"Well, you said you'd shave your head if I shaved mine....now we'll be twins!" and smiled.

Her lower lip started to tremble, tears welled up in her eyes as she looked at me...

"Come on," I said. " let's go and get that head shaved!!!"

And rubbed my hands together for dramatic effect

(drama geek, remember?)

"But.…but Daddy....I don't wanna be BALD" she almost wailed.

"But....you said..." I said looking confused "you said you would, if I would"

"I...was...kidding!!!" She was working herself up into quite a state by now.

"Well, I thought you were serious...I guess you shouldn't say things you don't mean...huh? Well, I guess if you really don't want to we'll just go get your hair cut then..."
Her relief was palpable...lesson learned.

So we did...of course 2 weeks later she wanted her long hair back!!! Lol

I of course, had not counted on Kathy's reaction!!!

As soon as we got back I sent Katie back down to play at Ashley's so I could at least get a little sleep. She watched for her Mother to get home...and rode her bike like the wind to meet her in the driveway.....

AND SQUEAL ON ME!!!

My wife, of course, thought my daughter was exaggerating, so when she came into our darkened bedroom to wake me with a kiss. She got quite the shock when she laid her hand atop my head...

"Ewwwwwww you really did it!!! If that child needs therapy I swear to God it's gonna be because of you!!!"

Well, she turned out just fine...and I couldn't be prouder of her!!! But she's never forgotten to "mean what you say, and say what you mean"!!!

Parenting skills? Yeah....I got that shit!!!   :-)

I kept my head shaved all summer, just because...
A Beastly Bald Bear! Lol

Be Well Folks,
Beastly Bear

Just Embarrassing...

Den of the Beastly Bear

Sometimes I wonder if I'm the only one.

Anyone remember a little website called Classmates.com?

 I was excited when I first learned of its existence!

Folks of my age, we grew up and graduated in a time where you had just one way to contact your friends, their parent's phone number! As we graduated, went off to college, joined the service or went to work it was easy to lose track of friends.

Those of you who may be unfamiliar with Classmates, the premise was this: you create a profile(for free), register your school, and graduation year and include an email address. This created a searchable database by which you could contact those old school friends!

So if you grew up in a place with multiple high schools and had friends that went to a different school, you could find them as well!

Remember now, this was early days of social media.

If you were advanced enough to have digital copies of photos, you could attach them to your profile, AMAZING!!! 

There was only one catch, while you could find friend's profiles and read about their work and family, look at some pictures. If you wanted to email them you had to pay! At first I just trolled, looking up folks I'd like to talk to again...seeing if they had even joined yet! When finally there were enough people I knew, I sprang for the $14.95 a year to be able to contact them!

With great enthusiasm, I polished off emails!!!

Friends from junior high that went to another high school, high school pals, I was excited!!!

And then it happened...

As the emails trickled back in...I got more than a few:

Joe WHO's?!?

WHAT?!? 

Now folks, I realize I was not super popular in school...I played no sports, I wasn't in the "Too cool for school" crowd, I was just your average everyday kid in school! Granted I did chorus a year or two, drama club 9th. grade on...and was probably known for that more than anything.

So the people I emailed were not strangers to me, folks I thought ought to know me, no these were FRIENDS!

People that had an impact in my life, people I'd spent countless hours with, ate lunch with, were in plays with, hung out at their house.

In short, people I'll never forget and I get "Joe WHO?!?" Just embarrassing!

What's worse, a couple of them took several emails describing...in detail, events we shared! Classes we were in together, who we sat by....before I got 

"Oh yeah.....I think I know who you are now!"

Some I never even heard back from, guess that in itself says a lot!

Talk about a spectacular way to deflate your ego!!!

Fast forward to today:

 I freely admit to being a Facebook addict!!! I enjoy seeing the funny meme's and posts my friends share!

Seeing their family pictures, sharing in some small way their ups and downs...

Now, I get an occasional "friend of a friend" ask to add me as a friend, though we've never met! That makes me feel pretty good! And then something like THIS happens!

I used to work at Perry Drug Stores as a semi driver.

I hired in just before a big hiring frenzy due to their rapid expansion. One of the guys that hired in after me came from a defunct trucking company in Flint, where he had been THE top seniority driver. At the time I was 21, he was 42 and he instantly despised me!

And I was OK with that! Hey, I'm an acquired taste...if you don't like me, acquire some taste!!!

At first I tried, I really did.

But this guy, he's one of those guys that always thinks you're out to screw him over. I mean if you handed him a $100 bill and said "Here, this is for you...just because!"

He'd look at you, and serious as a heart attack say

"What, you couldn't give me 5 $20's?!? Where am I gonna break this?!? You're trying to F@#k me!!!"

Now when I say "despised" it's because a stronger word currently escapes me. Let me put it this way...

In the midst of one of his "I hate everybody/everything" rants, which I admit to helping fuel by pointing out most of his problems were of his own making. He pointed at me and said
"I ever come back in here with a gun, you're the first motherfucker I'm shooting!!!"

That's the kind of mindset we're talking about here.

I left Perry's almost 19 years ago and maintain friendships with a couple of the guys I used to work with there! So the other day I get a friend request on Facebook from guess who?!?! That's right, my old nemesis(kind of cool that I have a nemesis)...seems he is friends with one of my buddies!

And I thought "Really dude? You're that hard up for friends you friended ME???"

Embarrassing....just embarrassing!!!

Needless to say, 

the Beastly Bear huffed...and hit ignore!!!

Be Well Folks,
Beastly Bear

A Sad Day...

Den of the Beastly Bear

It is with a heavy heart I write today's blog.

You see in the wee hours of New Years Day, the light went out for one of the angels in my life. We didn't realize anything was wrong when we got in from our party and turned on the lights. Perhaps her normal glow was somewhat diminished, but we didn't notice...

We were sitting in the family room, discussing our night when we heard a strange noise that caught our attention. As we turned to her, she made a noise we'd never heard. Her small body quivered, in the throws of some type of seizure...before either of us could move she suddenly stopped moving. And her light went out!!!

I suppose it is only fitting it was just my wife and I there for the end, as it was just the two of us when her light first blessed our home.

Twenty-six Christmases she'd spent with us. From our first together as a married couple in 1987. 

She was there watching in 1990, three days before Christmas when Kathy told me I was to be a father. 

She watched every year as Katie opened her gifts, from onesies and blankets that first year. To dollies and play phones, to dollhouses and clothes. Jewelry and trinkets, to this years Nexus 7 and Chromecast so she can stream movies and music to her TV.

She presided over many a Christmas dinner party as new members were added to our family. There as we mourned loved ones lost over the past years.

I admit to loving her from the moment I first laid eyes on her. 

A gift from my Mother, her siblings went to my Sister's homes. Her short blonde hair, framing an angels face...her creme colored satin and lace dress adorned with roses.....her wings of gold lameè. Bought from Kmart, my Mom always crafty got out the hot glue gun and went to work customizing each. Ours got a halo of gold beads, pink colored satin bows, and peach colored mini silk roses! Because our wedding colors had been peach and grey.

Oh wait, didn't I mention...

She was our animated tree top angel!

I'm sorry if I led you astray, and I realize it is silly to feel such an emotional attachment to something so mundane. And like many things, you don't appreciate what you have till it breaks!

Can I fix her? I don't know...it may be beyond my talents to repair. And my fear is that in my attempt to fix her, I may damage her irreparably. You see she didn't just light up, her wings flap and her arms open and close, holding a candle in her left hand.

She has never graced an artificial tree, but blessed our real trees and kept us safe. She came with us from our humble trailer of a first home, to our current home.

And when it was decided that we would put an additional tree(artificial) up in the living room, to be seen through the bay window from the street. There was never a thought to moving her there...she was part of the family and belonged in the FAMILY room!

Perhaps I should leave well enough alone and let her have her peace. Continue to set her atop our trees, dark and unmoving....but it just doesn't seem right.

RIP Sweet Angel

1987-2014

Yeah, the Beastly Bear's a big softy!!!

Tell No one!!!