Den of the Beastly Bear
It is with a heavy heart I write today's blog.
You see in the wee hours of New Years Day, the light went out for one of the angels in my life. We didn't realize anything was wrong when we got in from our party and turned on the lights. Perhaps her normal glow was somewhat diminished, but we didn't notice...
We were sitting in the family room, discussing our night when we heard a strange noise that caught our attention. As we turned to her, she made a noise we'd never heard. Her small body quivered, in the throws of some type of seizure...before either of us could move she suddenly stopped moving. And her light went out!!!
I suppose it is only fitting it was just my wife and I there for the end, as it was just the two of us when her light first blessed our home.
Twenty-six Christmases she'd spent with us. From our first together as a married couple in 1987.
She was there watching in 1990, three days before Christmas when Kathy told me I was to be a father.
She watched every year as Katie opened her gifts, from onesies and blankets that first year. To dollies and play phones, to dollhouses and clothes. Jewelry and trinkets, to this years Nexus 7 and Chromecast so she can stream movies and music to her TV.
She presided over many a Christmas dinner party as new members were added to our family. There as we mourned loved ones lost over the past years.
I admit to loving her from the moment I first laid eyes on her.
A gift from my Mother, her siblings went to my Sister's homes. Her short blonde hair, framing an angels face...her creme colored satin and lace dress adorned with roses.....her wings of gold lameè. Bought from Kmart, my Mom always crafty got out the hot glue gun and went to work customizing each. Ours got a halo of gold beads, pink colored satin bows, and peach colored mini silk roses! Because our wedding colors had been peach and grey.
Oh wait, didn't I mention...
She was our animated tree top angel!
I'm sorry if I led you astray, and I realize it is silly to feel such an emotional attachment to something so mundane. And like many things, you don't appreciate what you have till it breaks!
Can I fix her? I don't know...it may be beyond my talents to repair. And my fear is that in my attempt to fix her, I may damage her irreparably. You see she didn't just light up, her wings flap and her arms open and close, holding a candle in her left hand.
She has never graced an artificial tree, but blessed our real trees and kept us safe. She came with us from our humble trailer of a first home, to our current home.
And when it was decided that we would put an additional tree(artificial) up in the living room, to be seen through the bay window from the street. There was never a thought to moving her there...she was part of the family and belonged in the FAMILY room!
Perhaps I should leave well enough alone and let her have her peace. Continue to set her atop our trees, dark and unmoving....but it just doesn't seem right.
RIP Sweet Angel
1987-2014
Yeah, the Beastly Bear's a big softy!!!
Tell No one!!!
Wow!! Another top notch post Joe!! I can see this is gonna be fun!! (although kinda had the big softie thing figured out, promise not to spread it around). Totally understand the feeling of loss...
ReplyDeleteThanks Sherry...as long as my secret is safe with you!!! ;-)
DeleteAw.. That was so sweet and what a beautiful angel.. Great memories.. A lovely, lovely post.. Now you need to get into some blogging/writing groups!
ReplyDeleteGood Lord Karen, I'm only 2 blogs in....lol!!! And you want me to run with the big dogs?!?!?!?!?
DeleteYes. I would love for you to run with the big dogs! :D
ReplyDelete