Clueless...

Den of the Beastly Bear

Morning Folks!

We all have that one relative...you know the one.
The one that's just clueless...yet absolutely certain in their cluelessness!

I'll not name names, though those of you that know my family will probably figure it out.

Christmas time:
A family get together was scheduled at my mothers home. Mom always made the holidays a big deal, lots of good food and decorations!

We'd had snow, and while the driveway was cleared there were still some slippery patches. The relative in question arrived and was walking up the driveway when she slipped on a patch of ice and went down on one knee. No real harm done, just a knot and a bruise.
The rest of the day she kept complaining of how much her knee hurt.

My mother, always the caretaker brought her a couple aspirin, and a glass of water.

"What are these?" Clueless asked.
"Aspirin" my mother answered.
"Mom," Clueless said with distain for my mothers obvious stupidity "I don't have a HEADACHE, my KNEE hurts!!!"
The room fell into stunned silence...
"What...?" She asked, still not getting it.

Another holiday, Thanksgiving this time:
Again at my mothers...big Thanksgiving spread.
We all brought a dish, but mom still went out of her way with pickle trays, olive trays, cheese trays, and croudette(veggies). 

As part of the veggie tray my mom always bought radishes in bunches and cleaned them herself.

Most times she'd take the tops off completely, along with the root.

This time, she left about a half inch of the tops attached to use as a handle for dipping.
Like this------>

Enter Clueless and her entourage. She bustles in, drops off her dish gives greeting all around before going to hang up her coat. The trays were set out so we could all knosh a little as we talked and waited for the big meal to be ready.

As Clueless made her way around the table, picking at this and that her attention fell to the radishes.

She picked one up, examined it closely, turning it this way and that like it was the most interesting thing she'd ever seen. Pulling at the greenery at the top, then trying to twist it before finally in exasperation asks:
"Ok Mom, how'd you do it?"
"Do what?"
"How'd you get the green onion to stay in the radish like that?!?"
Again, were it summer you'd have heard nothing but crickets...

There have been more over the years, but why belabor the point.

I find that there are rarely those so firm in their convictions, as those that really don't have a firm grasp of the world around them.

They are however, amusing to the rest of us...

I sometimes think my daughter got a little of this relatives DNA.

My daughter loves pickles!
Dill pickles, sweet pickles, bread and butter, even fried pickles!!! You name it she likes them.

I'm a big fan of Clausen's deli style pickles.

After emptying a jar, I thought I'd try making some pickled cauliflower. I cut up the flowerettes and packed them in the jar with the remaining pickle juice, and set them in the back of the fridge for 2 weeks.

Finally I was ready to try my creation.

As I got them out, I asked my daughter if she'd like to try one.
She wrinkled her nose and said "Ummm, I don't think so..."
"Why not?" I asked "Cauliflower, like cucumbers don't have a lot of flavor...that's why they take on the spices so well."

"Well, I don't like pickled cucumbers either!" She replied.

"What???"

"I've tried them and I...don't...like...them" she said slowly, because I'm kinda slow sometimes.

"But you LOVE pickles!" I said.

"Yeah, PICKLES.....not CUCUMBERS!!!"

"What do you think pickles are made out of? Pickled cucumbers!!! What did you think there was a "pickle bush" they get them off?!?"

"They are not..." Funny how even with 30 years more experience on this planet that I still know less than my daughter!

"Google it..." I said. This is my new response when people say something so profoundly wrong, I just can't keep my mouth shut!

"Oh My God!!!" I heard from the other room "No way!!!"

"Yep," I said. "you mean to tell me you never noticed how pickles and cucumbers look an awful lot like the same damn thing?"

Well, she was so gobsmacked by this information she started calling her friends...fully half of which also didn't know that.

Proof I suppose we are becoming too far removed from where our food comes from.

I thought perhaps this was a generational thing.

Until I was telling this story at a get together, and one of the audience members at my table confessed that she too was unaware of that fact.

This is a professional woman in her 40's! 
That earns a six figure salary traveling the world for her Japanese auto manufacturing employer!

Maybe in her family she's "that one".....

Well folks, those are my Sunday morning ramblings.

Be Well!

Beastly Bear