A rare Michigan Earthquake...

Den of the Beastly Bear

Morning Folks!

Got yesterday's post out a little late, like 11pm late...things to do, people to see and all that!
If you missed it you can find it here "what fries my taters!"

Well, we woke up this morning to another 4½" of new fallen snow! I'm killing time waiting til about 9 before I fire up that beast of a snowblower. While everyone is thankful for the snow removal, no one likes being awakened early on a Sunday morning!

The other day I told you about Momma Bear having a crying jag while pregnant over dinner rolls....

What I failed to mention was her penchant for impromptu napping!

We would plan on going somewhere, I was ready fairly quickly....but you know how you gals can be!

Not that I'm complaining, we love that you put so much effort into looking good for us...but does it have to take so long???

Well, on more than one occasion (read as "more often than not) my lovely, glowing pregnant wife would go back to the bedroom to decide what exactly she was going to wear....and never come back!

When I finally got tired of waiting, and went back to check that she had not been abducted by aliens or some such. I would find her curled up on the waterbed, facing her open closet fast asleep. When I'd wake her, she'd say:

"I just laid down to think about what I wanted to wear."

I would tell her, try sitting on the bed instead of laying on it and you'll be much less likely to fall asleep.

It got to be quite a bone of contention between us as it started becoming a constant occurrence. Not that I begrudged her her naps, far from it! I encouraged her to rest often, after all her body was working hard growing our baby.

It was the timing!

If she was tired, and didn't want to go and do whatever we had planned...just say so!

I'm a big boy and am used to doing things on my own, I was, after all a truck driver and spent up to 20 hours at a time all by my self.

On one occasion, she had made plans to go shopping with her friend and neighbor Debbie! She told me what time they had planned to go, and that she was going back to get ready. 

I told her "Don't fall asleep....."

"I won't!!!" She said in her snotty voice...you know the one girls...don't claim you don't! Lol.

So...

Time passes, no wife.

A half hour, no wife.

45 minutes, no wife.

I give her 15 more minutes, no wife.

Now certain that she is back there sleeping, I devise a plan. If she hears me coming down the hall she'll pop up off the bed and claim she'd never been laying down.

So I turned to Tasha the wonder dog and said:

"You know mama's back there sleeping, we're gonna run back there and catch her!"

Yes, I talk to my dogs like people, don't judge!!!

So I jumped up off the couch and raced down the hallway to catch her in the act...well, that was the plan!

What I had not factored into the equation was that Tasha the wonder dog was an Australian Shepherd!

"Shepherd" being the operative term! For, given that she had no sheep, goats or cattle to "herd" she often tried herding us!

So as I made my dash for the hallway, Tasha ran with me...but in her excitement that Dad was running with her, she got tangled in my feet.

Tripped by my overeager shepherd, all 298 lbs. of me at full speed....fell forward...

My left shoulder hitting the open doorway of what was to be the baby's room!!! This abruptly altered my forward progress, spun me sideways and tipped me towards the opposite wall, buckling the siding and putting a 3 foot whole in the wall....slamming my right shoulder into the 2X4 stud there!!! My forward momentum completely stopped I now fell backwards on top of my twisted legs, folding them under me!!

This series of concussions to our trailer knocked things off shelves, pictures fell from the walls, car alarms sounded….children wept!!!

Kathy, awakened by what she could only assume was a rare Michigan earthquake came running out of the bedroom to find me crumpled in the hallway, arms akimbo!!!

"OH MY GOD! WHAT HAPPENED??? ARE YOU ALRIGHT?" She asked.

Wind knocked right out of me, I squeaked out a

"Don't...touch...me..."

"What?!? Are you hurt?!?" She says...no, I'm not hurt, I always run my shoulder through the wall and fall backwards twisting myself up like a pretzel!!!

"Not...sure...yet...give..me..a.minute!!!" 

I took a quick inventory with the wife and dog looking down at me, decided nothing was broken.

When my loving wife started to giggle, then to chortle, then to laugh...laugh so hard tears ran down her face. 

As I unfolded myself. 

As rolled over to get my feet under me and stand up, Tasha the wonder dog gave me the "I'm sorry" conciliatory lick to the face.

When she could breathe again, as I stiffly made my way back to the couch she asked:

"What the HELL were you doing?????"

"Trying to catch you napping..." I groaned as I flopped down. "you were, weren't you?"

"Yeah," she said....wiping her eyes, "until the earthquake!!!!"

Hope your day is better than that one was for me!!!

Be Well!

Beastly Bear