Wednesday, August 16, 2017

I...am not myself...

Den of the Beastly Bear

Hi Folks,
So today something amusing happened to me, so I thought I'd share.

Losing half your body weight has some interesting side effects. Not only do I no longer have to shop in the Big and Tall section of clothing departments...but I now can walk in ANYWHERE to shop!
I now sometimes have the opposite problem and find something I like, but all the sizes left are too big...go figure!

 So, today at work I was brought a trainee to show the ropes of driving a Hi-Lo. He had been driving a couple days in another department, and we like to bounce them around throughout the plant to expose them to different aspects of the job, different environments, and let them work around different people. This produces a more well-rounded driver capable of fitting in almost any job assignment given them.

 This particular fellow looks vaguely familiar, but when I heard his name I drew a blank...after all, I don't meet so many "Ludwigs" that I would forget one.

 After he's been working on my dock for a couple hours, he mentions that he used to work with one of my regular drivers, Scott. They both drove for the same trucking company that I did, first for GM and later for Penske when he bought the division. At break time, we were talking about the changes that had gone on with Penske that had prompted each of us to transfer back to GM.
Talk then turned to people we knew and what had happened to them.

Ludwig- "I guess a lot of guys from the Flint terminal came over here."

Scott- "Yeah, I know a bunch of us are here..."

Me- "Doug Cramb is here on third...and Jackie, remember her?"

Ludwig- "Yeah, I ran into her the other night. Larry Nevers is on first, I see him every now and then... And Joe Ormerod, he's on second like us, he's in material but I don't know where."

Scott and I exchanged glances, Scott starts cracking up and makes an elaborate "TADA!" motion towards me. I raised my hand and waved.

Ludwig looks at me, then at Scott, back to me and says "Holy SHIT you've lost a lot of weight...I never would have guessed that was you!!!" A look of complete astonishment on his face.

Scott- "He hasn't been himself for a while now...in fact, he's half the man he used to be!"

 And so realization struck me that Ludwig looked familiar for good reason, all be it I had not seen him in 20 years.

Ludwig- "You don't remember me do you? Well, you probably wouldn't. I wasn't there very long before you left, I remember there was a lot of talk when you left...other guys thinking maybe they should too."

So folks, there you have it. Another benefit of my weight loss...I am now incognito, hiding in plain sight! Lol

May you all be recognized and remembered for all you do!

Be Well, 
The Beastly Bear




Wednesday, August 2, 2017

Escalation of Benefit or The Stripper Corollary...

Den Of The Beastly Bear

Hi Folks,
 I find myself of late, wasting WAY too much time on that soul sucking venture known as Facebook. So I thought I'd write another missive to you all.

 About my title today, Escalation of Benefit is something we are all familiar with. Every time you see a TV pitchman say "But wait, there's more..." you are seeing Escalation of Benefit. It is an age old marketing/advertising ploy used to separate you from your hard earned cash when you are vacillating on a purchase. But it need not be as in your face as Billy Mays screaming "But WAIT there's MORE!!!"   

 Sometimes the escalation is insidious and small, such that you don't realize you are being manipulated. Hence the second half of our working title today "The Stripper Corollary".

 Now I'll ask you ladies, and those who have never ventured into such an establishment (yeah right) to bear with me for a moment.
Allow me to explain. When one patronizes a strip club, one pays a cover at the door. One is then reminded that there is also a 2 drink minimum, these are the preliminary means of separating you from your cash. The dancers perform on stage for tips, usually dollar bills...maybe a $5 spot here and there. But the main means of emptying your pockets is the lap dance.

 So, you come in, pay your cover, buy your drinks and sit down to watch good looking women dance in various stages of undress. That's when the first stripper comes over. They always send the ugliest one (relatively speaking of course) first. 

You politely decline and send her away, and the next prettiest one approaches.(Escalation of Benefit) This continues until the girl is so fine you concede(this varies by each guy), and BAM there goes $25 A SONG. Now, generally speaking in all clubs it is verboten to touch the ladies as they are performing this service for you. The dancer will, however, lead you to 

believe that should you bump up to the VIP room there may be more to be had.(But wait, there's more!) Should you fall into this trap, you're now out an additional $50 and all you will get is a longer dance. So now you're out $75 you didn't plan to spend, on something you didn't really want in the first place.

 What brought this to mind is a friend that had broken up with her significant other, for the third time since I've known her. She was adamant that she was now DONE! Had met a nice fellow and they were going to start dating. Until the Ex found out. Then he started Texting (ugly stripper), she didn't respond. Calling (next prettiest stripper), then showing up to talk to her at work (they work at the same place in different areas), she was still adamant and discussed this with me. I tried to explain what was happening, told her of Escalation of Benefit and The Stripper Corollary. Next, he showed up and openly cried in front of the other employees (something this narcissist would never do) telling her how wrong he had been. Again she sought my counsel, I again reminded her that this all stems from the fact that she had met someone and he found out through the grapevine and now was going to do and say ANYTHING to try to get her back. When next I saw her she didn't bring him up at all, then I heard that she had gotten engaged.

"Wow," said I "that was fast, she just started dating this guy..."

"Oh no," they told me "She's engaged to her Ex."

"Holy Shit, she bought the lap dance..."

Hope you all enjoy some true benefits in your life...

Be Well,
Beastly Bear