Friday, December 18, 2015

You're kidding me, right?

Hi Folks, I know it's been a while...sorry!

 Back when Mama Bear and I were just dating, back in the archaic 80's, we went out to eat a lot. One of our favorite places to go was for a pan pizza at a chain restaurant that rhymes with Pizza Slut.
You could sit down, order a beer (or Pepsi in Mamas Bear's case) and enjoy an appetizer while you waited for your piping hot pizza to be delivered right to your table. We went probably once a month, but when that craving hit, nothing else would do.

 One particular evening, I had picked up Mama Bear and we drove to the closest location of the chain. For a delicious Meat Lover's pizza. The lot was not particularly full when we arrived, which was somewhat unusual as they were quite popular at the
time. There were several around, and though not as common as say McDonalds they were plentiful, but we had our favorite. We walked in and waited by the obligatory "Please Wait to be Seated"
sign, though it was clear we had our pick of seating locations. After a brief wait, a bubbly waitress came and seated us and took our drink orders.

 I had to be up early the next day so we just went with a pitcher of Pepsi. She brought us to full glasses and the pitcher, then asked if we wanted an appetizer. We ordered our normal garlic toast, half with cheese half without. She left us with our drinks and went to turn in the appetizer order. Small talk about work ensued until she returned to take our actual order.
"All right, what can I get you folks?" she bubbled.
"I think we're gonna get a medium meat lovers pan pizza..."
"Oh, I'm sorry..." she seemed to deflate and adopted the pookey lip. 
"We're out of pizza."
"I beg your pardon?" I asked skeptically unsure if I had heard correctly.
"Yeah," She explained "our truck didn't come in today so we don't have any dough." Then she brightened again and said, "But we do have salads...and pasta, so what can I get you?"
"I'm confused," I said "the sign outside doesn't say Salad Hut or Pasta Hut...we came here for pizza, and that's what we want."
"Well we don't have any, so you'll have to order something else."
She said, a little snip to her voice.
"No, I don' fact, you should have told us as soon as we walked in that door that you didn't have pizza, instead of seating us, taking our drink and appetizer order. So we're leaving!"
"But you already ordered can't just leave!"
"Watch me!" I said, as we got up to leave I peeled off $3 for the pops we drank and we walked out.

 As we got in the car we looked at each other and burst out laughing, shaking our heads at the absurdity of it all. 
"Well," I asked "what now?"
"Still craving a meat lovers pizza..." Mama Bear said.
"Ok, we'll try another!" So we drove the 4 miles to another location. This one had more cars in the parking lot and was noticeably busier. We walked in and waited behind a family of four that had walked in ahead of us, as the waitress came and showed them to their seats. She came back, welcomed us and then said,
"Before I seat you, I need to let you know that we aren't serving pizza tonight. We do still have salads and pasta though if you'd like."
"Lot of that going around," I said, "we just left your Walton Blvd. location and they had the same problem. Except they seated us and took our drink and garlic bread order before letting us know..."
"That's just wrong..." She said shaking her head.
"That's why we left..." I assured her. 
"OK, well thanks for letting us know. We're gonna try somewhere else."

 Outside the door, we looked at each other and started cracking up, again...what are the chances? When we settled in the car, I asked
"Now what?"
"I still want pizza!" She said.
"We can try the one on the other side of town..." I offered.
"Let's do it!" She replied emphatically.

 So we drove all the way to the other side of town, parked and walked in. We stood by yet another "Please wait to be seated" sign, and waited for the Hostess.
"Just the two of you tonight?" She asked, menus in hand.
"Yeah," I said. "before you seat us, can I ask if you're serving pizza tonight?"
She looked at me as if I were a world-class moron.
"Ummmm, yeeeeaaaahhhh."
"Hey, if you'd had our night so far, you'd know that question is not out of line..."

Here's hoping you all get what you want...with a little less effort.

Be Well Folks, 

Beastly Bear


  1. Omgosh. Last week I was craving fish n' chips so my youngest and I went out in search of. It was after midnight so we knew it would be hit or miss. We also knew we had a ton of 24 hr. carry-out places. Same thing with you guys. Not a one of 'em had fish n' chips. I ended up with a fish sandwich from Jack in the Box! A couple of nights after that my youngest had a craving for a double cheese burger. It was 3:30am. Every drive thru we to was serving breakfast! Lol.. What a person won't do to satisfy those cravings... So happy you guys finally got your pizza! :)

    1. I know, when you want WANT IT DAMMIT!!! Fish from J.I.B. ??? Say it isn't so??? I still get a sick craving for a McDonald's fillet-o-fish sometimes! I know it's wrong, but I can't help myself!!! LOL

  2. Say what you want about Jersey, but we never have to travel more than a mile to find a pizza...and it is real pizza, made by someone named Mario, not chain restaurant pizza.

    Funny story, I guess they all got their ingredients from the same vendor. THe first stop was totally out of line and I can see why the third place looked at you like you had two heads after your question.

    1. I'm very jealous Joeh, I long for the days when cooking a good pie was a skill! Not these trolley ovens they shove it into...
      We loved as kids sitting close to the kitchen so we could see the guy tossing the dough! Great memories of a time before corporate America got hold of the pizza making business!

  3. I'm getting hungry just seeing the pizza image and reading your amusing story.

    1. Sorry Michelle, unintended consequences...Lol

  4. That's just crazy! NO pizza???? At two stores? How does that even happen? Too bad social media didn't exist in those days.

    1. Hahahaha, I know right??? That's like going to McDonalds and them telling you they didn't have any hamburgers!!! I think if I was the manager I'd be sending somebody for yeast and flour!!!

  5. I have actually experienced that before with Pizza Hut. Here the schools pass out "rewards" for reading to the kids if they read so many books they get a free personal pan pizza coupon. I don't know how many times we have went to try to use them for the kids and been told "oh, we don't have any of those". Also I have also been told "we are out of pizza ". In my opinion they should post a sign that says they are out. They are "out" a lot for being a pizza place which is a lot of the reason that Pizza Hut has dropped in popularity and other pizza chains have taken over. We have quit going there. Way too many other pizza places who actually have pizza to sell for LESS to waste the time with them.

  6. Lol - only you! Great story - glad you got your pie!

    1. Thanks Jennifer, it was an ordeal!!! Lol