Showing posts with label pickled bologna. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pickled bologna. Show all posts

Thursday, May 15, 2014

Expectations...

Den of the Beastly Bear

Hi Folks!

Have you ever noticed just how much expectations color our lives?

When those expectations are not met, well the results can be "unexpected"! Lol.

When I was in High school I had a part time job after school at a local Sporting Goods store. On Saturdays I worked a 12 hour day, 9-9!

Minimum wage being about $2.75 back then, and paying my own car note, gas and insurance...money was ALWAYS tight. Being a young man that enjoyed the company of young women, that was where most of my money went.

So I often packed a lunch from home.

One Saturday I was up before the rest of the house, rooting around in the fridge for something for lunch.
In the meat tray I found something wrapped in Butcher's paper. Mom frequently stopped at Bazely's Meats, (one of the last Butcher shops in our area) for " special" treats.

Unwrapping the paper I discovered some natural casing, linked hotdogs, YUM!!! So I cut a couple free, grabbed a couple buns and diced up a half onion I'd also found in the fridge. Put some chips in a baggie, and it was off to work.

Never one to eat breakfast...I know, I know the most important meal of the day and all, I just never seemed to have the time! So by lunch I was starving!!!

We had a refrigerator at work to store our lunches, and we kept it stocked with condiments...mustard, ketchup, mayo...even dill pickle chips and sweet relish.

A microwave was provided for heating meals, so I got my hotdogs out and placed them on a paper plate and heated them up. Next, on went the onions and ketchup & mustard. Placed my chips next to my hotdogs, and admired my handiwork.

With great expectations, I grabbed the first hotdog and took a bite!

The next few seconds events are burned into my brain and will never be forgotten.

As my teeth severed the natural casing of the hotdog, hot SOUR juices squirted down my throat!!! This was unexpected for two reasons...1) hotdogs don't "squirt"!
and 2) nothing should have been sour!!!

My mind whirled with possibilities, were they spoiled?
I didn't think that possible as they must have been purchased the day before...
Were the condiments bad? 

But my rational brain was not in charge at the moment!!!

My stomach heaved, gag reflex kicked in as my brain screamed "GET IT OUT!!!"

Luckily there was a garbage can nearby and I spit the mouthful of offending crap into it and dry heaved over it...when finally my body quit trying to hack up my shoes, I rinsed my mouth with some good old fashioned coca-cola to get that taste out of my mouth!

I picked up both dogs to toss them out, and as I was putting them in the trash I caught a whiff of pickles....
I didn't have pickles on my dogs! I brought the bitten dog tentatively to my nose and gently sniffed...not really wanting to smell rancid meat, but confused...that was definitely dill pickle smell!!!

Realization struck me like a hammer!!!

Pickled bologna!!! Instead of a ring, the butcher had made them into links....links that looked EXACTLY like hotdogs!!!!  I'll be damned...

Busted expectations!

We had a family get together one summer, somebodies birthday or maybe just a family cookout at my sister Anna's house. Her husband Pat was at the grill, and everyone brought a dish to pass...to avoid duplication, we all told everyone what we were bringing.

My sister Brenda and her new husband Tom arrived with a big plate of Deviled Eggs. I LOVE deviled eggs!!!
Ask anyone that knows me...I'll tear me up some deviled eggs!!! Hahaha.

Burgers and dogs were not quite done, but soon, so we started opening things up so everyone could come through the line buffet style...

Not being able to help myself in such close proximity to the deviled eggs, I swiped one and popped it into my mouth.

And things went horribly wrong!!! I had expected deviled eggs...you know, very simple...egg yolk, mayo, yellow mustard garnished with a little paprika.

That was NOT what was in my mouth...again reptile brain kicked in "Get it out!". No waste receptacle handy I spit it out into my hand....yuck!!!

I spun on Brenda "What the HELL did you do to those deviled eggs?!?"

"Oh, Tom likes them with Dijon mustard and sweet relish...I thought I'd mix things up a little".

"Well," I said cleaning my hand off with a napkin, "I hope Tom's hungry, cause nobody else is going to eat that shit..."

And they didn't...their expectations were busted as well.

Yes, I reacted badly and behaved poorly. I'm not proud.

As humans we can set our selves up for this, so easily.
We preconceive what will happen, what something will taste like, how someone will react...and when those expectations are not met we are confused...and often angry. Because it challenges our worldview, our knowledge of how the world is!

Had I known ahead of time that they had not been made to the traditional recipe, I'd certainly have been open to trying them. But the difference between what I expected and the reality set me up to instantly hate them!

Here's hoping all your expectations are cheerfully met!

Be Well Folks!

Beastly Bear