Thursday, May 15, 2014


Den of the Beastly Bear

Hi Folks!

Have you ever noticed just how much expectations color our lives?

When those expectations are not met, well the results can be "unexpected"! Lol.

When I was in High school I had a part time job after school at a local Sporting Goods store. On Saturdays I worked a 12 hour day, 9-9!

Minimum wage being about $2.75 back then, and paying my own car note, gas and was ALWAYS tight. Being a young man that enjoyed the company of young women, that was where most of my money went.

So I often packed a lunch from home.

One Saturday I was up before the rest of the house, rooting around in the fridge for something for lunch.
In the meat tray I found something wrapped in Butcher's paper. Mom frequently stopped at Bazely's Meats, (one of the last Butcher shops in our area) for " special" treats.

Unwrapping the paper I discovered some natural casing, linked hotdogs, YUM!!! So I cut a couple free, grabbed a couple buns and diced up a half onion I'd also found in the fridge. Put some chips in a baggie, and it was off to work.

Never one to eat breakfast...I know, I know the most important meal of the day and all, I just never seemed to have the time! So by lunch I was starving!!!

We had a refrigerator at work to store our lunches, and we kept it stocked with condiments...mustard, ketchup, mayo...even dill pickle chips and sweet relish.

A microwave was provided for heating meals, so I got my hotdogs out and placed them on a paper plate and heated them up. Next, on went the onions and ketchup & mustard. Placed my chips next to my hotdogs, and admired my handiwork.

With great expectations, I grabbed the first hotdog and took a bite!

The next few seconds events are burned into my brain and will never be forgotten.

As my teeth severed the natural casing of the hotdog, hot SOUR juices squirted down my throat!!! This was unexpected for two reasons...1) hotdogs don't "squirt"!
and 2) nothing should have been sour!!!

My mind whirled with possibilities, were they spoiled?
I didn't think that possible as they must have been purchased the day before...
Were the condiments bad? 

But my rational brain was not in charge at the moment!!!

My stomach heaved, gag reflex kicked in as my brain screamed "GET IT OUT!!!"

Luckily there was a garbage can nearby and I spit the mouthful of offending crap into it and dry heaved over it...when finally my body quit trying to hack up my shoes, I rinsed my mouth with some good old fashioned coca-cola to get that taste out of my mouth!

I picked up both dogs to toss them out, and as I was putting them in the trash I caught a whiff of pickles....
I didn't have pickles on my dogs! I brought the bitten dog tentatively to my nose and gently sniffed...not really wanting to smell rancid meat, but confused...that was definitely dill pickle smell!!!

Realization struck me like a hammer!!!

Pickled bologna!!! Instead of a ring, the butcher had made them into links....links that looked EXACTLY like hotdogs!!!!  I'll be damned...

Busted expectations!

We had a family get together one summer, somebodies birthday or maybe just a family cookout at my sister Anna's house. Her husband Pat was at the grill, and everyone brought a dish to avoid duplication, we all told everyone what we were bringing.

My sister Brenda and her new husband Tom arrived with a big plate of Deviled Eggs. I LOVE deviled eggs!!!
Ask anyone that knows me...I'll tear me up some deviled eggs!!! Hahaha.

Burgers and dogs were not quite done, but soon, so we started opening things up so everyone could come through the line buffet style...

Not being able to help myself in such close proximity to the deviled eggs, I swiped one and popped it into my mouth.

And things went horribly wrong!!! I had expected deviled know, very simple...egg yolk, mayo, yellow mustard garnished with a little paprika.

That was NOT what was in my mouth...again reptile brain kicked in "Get it out!". No waste receptacle handy I spit it out into my hand....yuck!!!

I spun on Brenda "What the HELL did you do to those deviled eggs?!?"

"Oh, Tom likes them with Dijon mustard and sweet relish...I thought I'd mix things up a little".

"Well," I said cleaning my hand off with a napkin, "I hope Tom's hungry, cause nobody else is going to eat that shit..."

And they didn't...their expectations were busted as well.

Yes, I reacted badly and behaved poorly. I'm not proud.

As humans we can set our selves up for this, so easily.
We preconceive what will happen, what something will taste like, how someone will react...and when those expectations are not met we are confused...and often angry. Because it challenges our worldview, our knowledge of how the world is!

Had I known ahead of time that they had not been made to the traditional recipe, I'd certainly have been open to trying them. But the difference between what I expected and the reality set me up to instantly hate them!

Here's hoping all your expectations are cheerfully met!

Be Well Folks!

Beastly Bear


  1. Well, you are just a spoiled man. Not an unusual breed, I might add. A wild guess here, but I imagine had you been told what you were about to eat, you would still have hated them. Why? Because you already WANTED what you perceived.

    1. Spoiled Man?!?!?!?!? How DARE you ?!?!?!? Hahahahahaha!!!
      I may not have liked them Jo, but I'd have been open minded enough to try them!
      But after the shock, I couldn't even try one again....

  2. Your stories today reminded me of a time when my dad had made a big pot of his fabulous spaghetti for us to eat on after he left on the road. Well the next night out mom warmed it up on the stove and all lined up to get a heaping helping of Dad's spaghetti. First bites all landed back on our plates and we couldn't drink water fast enough. Seems my mom, who loved things hot decided she would doctor up the sauce a bit and had added cayenne pepper and half a bottle of tabasco sauce to the mix! The woman completely ruined it! Course she was happy as a clam and couldn't figure out what our problem was but after that episode, she only doctored her own. LOL

    1. I'm the spice lover in my family as well, and I try to make things mild enough for everyone and then make mine hotter...I'm just not always successful! :-(
      A certain pot of chili comes to mind, but that's a story for another day!

  3. Pickled bologna???? YUCK! Why?!?! I know one time my ex husband made his 'famous' chili/cream cheese dip for the Superbowl. It was so rich that we only ever had it once a year for the game. I couldn't wait. I scooped up a big amount on my tortilla chip, popped it in my mouth and was overwhelmed w/ the taste of garlic...which by the way I love. I said, 'What the f*** did you do to the dip? Is there GARLIC in it?" He said, 'just a little powder...thought I'd add some.' I was apoplectic. I said, 'Well it's ruined and I'm NOT eating this shit. WHY would you mess with this dip when it was perfect the way it was?' I was sooooooooo pissed off. He never messed with the recipe again.

    1. OMG JoJo, that reminds me of my Dad's attempt to make a dip to impress my Step Mom, when she tried some the garlic was so overpowering she couldn't eat it.
      When she asked how much garlic the recipe called for, he answered "3 cloves"!
      Confused, she said "That's not so much, were they big cloves?"
      "Not too big," he said,"about like this." holding up his thumb and forefinger in a circle the size of a pingpong ball.
      "No Bob, that's the big were the cloves?"
      "Uh Oh...." He put 3 BULBS of garlic in!!! HAHAHA

    2. OMG!!!!! 3 BULBS?!?!?! rotflmao Ooops! That's hilarious!

  4. I once ordered scallops in Charleston. They were delicious, but the hush puppy (which I'd never had before) tasted awful when expecting a scallop.

    1. Hey joeh, bet you were wondering "Where's the meat???" Lol

  5. I can count on you for a good laugh. You've never disappointed me. It's irritating when there are changes to a darn good recipe, especially when the food is at functions. I go with my taste buds in fine tune, impatient to eat my favourite foods that certain persons are great at making, and end up being disappointed. Why choose that day to experiment?

    1. Thank you so much Michelle!!!
      Glad I could bring a smile to your day...that brings one to mine! :-)

  6. Omg, food expectations are the worst. Always reminds me of when Pepsi lost their minds and introduced Pepsi Clear. I could never get past the fact that it looked like 7-Up to me and then so confusing when it tasted like Pepsi.

    1. I could never reconcile the whole Crystal Pepsi thing either! But you've never lived until you've had hot vinegar shoot down the back of your throat!!! Yuck!!!