Sunday, June 29, 2014

The Bouncers curse...

Den of the Beastly Bear

Hi Folks!

It's been a few days, my apologies!

So, back when I started bouncing I was told about the curse by a fellow Bouncer. I didn't believe him of course...

According to him, the curse was damn near as pervasive as the "Curse of the Bambino", which lasted 86 THAT'S a curse!!!

But like any newbie at any profession, I had to learn the hard way...

It was almost Christmas. A snow covered, cold Michigan night.
The bar I worked at had a banquet room downstairs that they rented out for special occasions...this Thursday night it was rented by a local business for their annual Christmas party.

I was working the door alone, as Thursdays were not big "trouble" nights. There was a foyer as people came in off the street, with a set of stairs to the left leading down to the banquet room. A second set of glass doors led into the bar proper, where patrons would show their ID's to yours truly before entering the club.

Management trusted the businesses to self regulate, and no bouncers were required in the banquet area unless requested...which never happened.

From my position at the door I could see all the party goers as they arrived, before they peeled off to head down the stairs.

It was a little after 9 pm, I'd just come on.

She caught my eye the second she walked through the doors...I can still see her in my mind's eye.

A halo of blonde hair surrounded an angels face, the rest hanging to the middle of her eyes that caught mine as her boyfriend took her coat.

She was dressed for the event in a long sleeved red velvet mini dress that fit her Penthouse body like she was sewn into it...shapely legs ran down to a pair of F-me pumps that matched the dress in that they too were red...and velvet covered.

She graced me with a smile, tucking a stray hair behind her ear...(and my heart stopped)...before following the boyfriend downstairs to the party.

Time passed, people came and went and the dance music played.
I had nearly forgotten about her, when I turned around and there she was before me...

"Uh, Hi!" I stammered...I'm quick that way! 

"Hi," she replied meekly "is there a cover to get into the bar?

"Not at all," I told her "did you need something? Your waitress should be able to bring you whatever you need downstairs..."

"If it's all the same to you I'd rather be up here...I kinda had a big fight with my boyfriend...we broke up, he's such an asshole sometimes...and he's been drinking. You probably see a lot of that...doing what you do."

"Yeah, kind of an occupational hazard..."
She laughed softly, then the tears welled up...

"I'm sorry..." she said, digging in her clutch (red sequined) for a tissue.
I had a some napkins on the table next to me and I handed her a one was waiting to get in so I walked her over to a table, pulled a chair out for her and got her seated. I got the attention of one of the girls and told her on the sly to get the lady whatever she liked, on me. 

A group was coming in so I excused myself and headed back to the door.

It took longer than I figured, but sure enough here came the drunken boyfriend...

"Sarah, what the fuck?!?" he demanded storming up to her.

"I told you if you didn't stop I was're such a jerk!!! I can't even talk to people without you freaking out...just go away."

"The fuck I will..." he said, listing a little unsteadily on his feet.
"You're coming back downstairs..."

"No, I'm not...just leave me alone...go drink with your asshole buddies, that's all you care about anyway!"

I watched this all play out, not really wanting to get involved yet...drunken lovers spats are de rigeur in a bar, so unless somebody starts "laying hands" you let it go...

"Don't be such a fucking bitch Sarah...come on!" (Wrong thing to say Bub)

"Fuck you!!!" she spat back at him. (Told ya...)

"I said COME ON!!!" he screamed, at which point he grabbed her upper arm and jerked her to her feet, the chair spinning away and toppling to the floor. 

"Jay stop, you're hurting me..." (That's my cue...)

Before the words were fully out of her mouth I was there...a couple other guys close by were half out of their chairs as well.

"Let her go!" I said in my outdoor voice to make myself heard over the throb of the music.

"Huh?" Jay looked at me not sure where I'd appeared from, or who I was, or why this broad shouldered fellow was bothering him.

"The lady obviously doesn't want to go with you, so let go of her."

"Who the fuck you think you are? She's my girlfriend so you can kiss my..."

"He's the Bouncer Jay...let go of me before he hurts you."

"Last chance pal..." I said stepping towards him.

He'd been holding her arm up level with her shoulder...he threw her arm down and said "Fuck this shit...and Fuck you.." He said to her, sticking a finger in her face. "Walk home BITCH!!!" 

With that he lurched his drunken ass out the door, and into the parking lot.

I righted her chair and held it out for her...she smoothed her dress under herself and sat down with as much dignity as possible. Her drink had spilled when she hit the table when he jerked her up and she mopped at it with a napkin. I had the bartender toss me a towel and I cleaned up the rest. Her waitress brought her another drink, to a muttered "Thank you"

I asked if she was alright..."Uh huh..." she answered.

"You want to call somebody?" I asked "The Bartender will let you use the phone..."

"No, that's ok" she said.

The manager, a women as opposite from this creature before me as is possible was staring daggers at me so I excused myself back to the door.

There was a small table by the door along the low wall separating the door from the rest of the bar. There was just one chair at it.
When we worked two Bouncers, one stood and worked the door...the other sat and watched the room. Working solo I stood.
I was allowed one drink, so I nursed my whiskey and ginger ale all night, setting it on the table next to me.

I heard something behind me, when I turned she was just sitting down at my table.

"You don't mind do you?" she asked.

"Not even a little bit..." I answered with a smile.

"I'm Sarah..."

"I heard..." motioning towards the table she'd been seated at with my head.

"Oh....yeah..." she blushed.

"I'm Joe..."

"Pleased to meet you Joe..." she said sticking out her hand.
I took her hand and she gave it a quick shake. 

She sat there and talked to me while I worked the door. When she finished the drink I'd bought her, she ordered herself another. Not letting me buy this time.

She told me all about her and Jay...told me it wasn't the first time he'd hurt her. I told her then it was "good riddance to bad rubbish".
She chuckled.

 She deserved better I told her. She asked if I had a girlfriend...I told her I was currently unattached. We talked about a little bit of everything, and the talking seemed to relax her. She told me where she worked (the cafeteria at the Kmart near us)...and as we talked she drank...white Russians.

Finally she sighed and said "Can I ask you a favor?"


"Will you take me home...? I mean when you get off work." (YES!)

"I don't get off until 2:30...we close at 2, I help clean up and walk the girls out to their cars." I looked at my watch "That's about two and a half hours from now, you sure you want to wait that long?"

"For you..." (Oh man....)

The more she drank the flirtier she became...I was considering asking the manager to leave early when a middle aged woman in a mink coat and her husband came in...holding Sarah's coat.

"There you are dear..." The woman said "I'm so sorry about you and Jay...he's still young...give him time." She looked at me...

Made a face as though she smelled an unpleasant odor and asked. 

"How are you getting home dear? I understand Jay left hours ago..."

"Joe's going to take me..." she said indicating me with a smile and a wave of her hand.

"Oh that simply won't don't even know!" She looked me up and down, obviously not liking what she saw.

"We'll take you..."

"That's true, thank you." she said 

"Wanna go out sometime?" she said to me.

"I'm free tomorrow," I said. "we can meet here and then go out from there...if that would make you feel better."

"What time?" she asked.

"About 7pm?"

"It's a's my number." She said getting out a pen and writing it on one of the napkins from my table, along with her name and a big heart. 

She gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek and said.
"Thank you for made tonight bearable.

The older man helped her into her coat, and she walked with them out into that cold dark night.

The next day I was walking on air...THE hottest girl I'd seen in ages was interested in me!!!

At five I called her number to make sure we were still on, no answer.
I tried again at six, no answer...
I was starting to get that feeling...but I went anyway.

As I walked in, Kelley the bartender (we had our own adventure here) said "Hey Big Guy (everybody was big to Kelley) I thought you had the night off?"

"I do...meeting a date. Can I get a whiskey and ginger ale?"

"Not that chick from last night?" she asked rolling her eyes.

"What?" I said "She's nice..."

"She's trouble, is what she is...trouble you don't need. Besides, did you forget about the curse?"

"No, I didn't forget about the curse....I just don't believe it."

"Ok," she said sitting my drink in front of me and wiping down the bar with her white towel. "Just sayin'..." as she moved down the bar to wait on someone else.

The other bartender, Lisa came out from the back room.
"Whoa," she said to Kelley "we get Heavy Duty AND WWF tonight?" Lisa had a penchant for nicknames...WWF was Sean, who looked like a wrestler and worked the nights I didn't.

"He's meeting a girl..." Kelley said.

"Not the one from last night...?" Geez...did everybody have an opinion?

Well, long story short...she never showed. I hung out until midnight to be sure....

My Bartender friends agreed, it wasn't was the curse.

So Saturday, I had the day off from Dunham's Sporting Goods, a part time job I'd taken to help pay the bills while I worked at the school and bounced.

I remembered Sarah telling me she didn't go in to work again until Saturday morning when we were talking. So, giving her the benefit of the doubt...who knows, something could have come up...
Ok, Ok she was insanely hot and I wasn't giving up with out giving it one more try. I decided I'd go for lunch at the cafeteria at Kmart and sit in her section. You see how insane I was...I was willing to eat at Kmart for  chance with this girl.

Soooooo, I go.

I ask for her section specifically, and I'm looking over the menu when she walks up...

Hair pulled back on the sides of her head, the rest cascading down her back. Pale blue and red uniform dress that fit her like her Christmas dress had to be her...NOBODY else could make that uniform look that good! Anklet socks and white sneakers completed her uniform. Her make up was understated, yet she still had aura of sexiness about her.
And she STILL looked hotter than most models!!!

"Hi, how're you doing today? Welcome to Kmart, can I get you something to drink?" she asked cheerily

"An iced tea please..."

"Ok, are you ready to order or do you need a minute?"

I had set my menu down, and she was looking right at me waiting expectantly...

"You have no idea who I am do you?" I asked, crestfallen.

She cocked her head to the side, bringing her pencil up to the side of her mouth as she concentrated...making the cutest little face of perplexity.

"Ummm, no...I guess I don't."

"I'm Joe..." I offered helpfully

She shook her head slightly still not making the connection.

"The Bouncer...? From Thursday night...?"

Her eyes lit with sudden comprehension..."That was you???"


"But," her brow furrowed "how did you know where I worked?"

"Because you told me...and when you worked next...and all about you and asked me to take you home? Any of this ringing a bell?" I asked hopefully.

"Kinda...I had a little bit to drink that night." she offered.

"Do you remember giving me your number? And why?"

She gasped a sudden intake of breath "Yes...Oh my God...I didn't show up!!! I'm so sorry..." She said as she slid in the booth across from me.

"I tried calling a couple of times before I left but you never answered..."

"Yeah, I wasn't home...I went over to Jays to get my things, and we wound up talking...and, well...we're back together." she said, not meeting my eyes.

"I figured it'd be something like that..." I said "I know I don't know you, and it's none of my business...But you don't deserve to be with somebody that puts their hands on you like that."

"He's a really nice guy when he hasn't been drinking...I know it's not an excuse, but..."

"But you love him..."

"Yeah." she answered with a nod.

I took a napkin, and wrote my name and number on it. I pushed it across the table to her.

"If you ever decide you deserve better..."

With a nod she scooped it off the table and slid it into the pocket of her uniform dress.

"Thanks," she said as she slid out of the booth. "you still want something to eat?"

"Gotta eat," I said with half a smile "Cheeseburger and onion rings please."

"Comin' right up..." she said with a smile as she walked back to the kitchen. 

She brought my check with my food, and when I was done I paid and walked over to say goodbye.

There was a trash basket sitting next to the waitress station, as I walked up something in it caught my eye...the napkin with my name and number on it.

When I looked up she was starring at me...
"Sorry" she mouthed.

 She looked away, and turning walked through the 
"employees only" door, and out of my life...forever.

I guess Sean was right about the curse...Damn him!

"Always remember the Bouncers curse, or this job will drive you crazy!" He'd said.

"What's that?" I asked.

"The Bouncer NEVER gets the girl."

Be Well Folks!!!

Beastly Bear


  1. It's true for so many reasons! The Bouncer, by description, is the rescuer. Hero of the likely liquor soaked moment. Sobriety brings about the clear thinking and forgiveness, even when it's just plain stupid and everybody moves on ... The bouncer losses.

    1. Yeah...but I also think folks use alcohol as an excuse. My opinion is alcohol doesn't make you a different person, it makes the person you are show through!
      I hope things turned out well for her and she didn't marry the putz!

  2. I never heard of that curse but it makes sense. The girls are usually drunk and vulnerable and the bouncer is the knight in shining armour....till the next day after she's slept it off.

    1. She really didn't even appear drunk when we first met, though by the end of the evening she was visibly impaired. I was surprised she didn't even recognize first I thought it may have just been context, like when you see a bank teller in a restaurant and you don't immediately recognize them. *heavy sigh*

  3. Shit, I should have been a bouncer then I would have had an excuse. I'd have been a great bouncer...except for that being a pussy thing.

    Great story!

    1. Perhaps it wasn't just a "bouncers curse", come to think of it I never dated ANYONE I met through work or worked with...until I started dating my wife!

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  5. I don't know about the bouncers curse, because I met my husband and he was a bouncer, and he ended up being my knight in shining armour, and still is today, but loved the story :-)<3.

    1. Did you meet him AS a bouncer though? That seems to be the determining factor...
      I dated girls during that time, but none I met while working!

  6. I'm just gonna' sit here and hide my face... Yep.. I've totally done that to bouncers before.. Hey, don't judge, I was young.. At least I'm using age as my excuse and not alcohol! ;)

    1. *Heavy Sigh* I might have known....Lol