Saturday, April 5, 2014

Honey do....Honey did!

Den of the Beastly Bear

Hi Folks!

You got one wiped out Bear here...

First honey do project:
Tear out old POS over range microwave and install shiny new over range microwave.

Shoulda been easy right?

Oh, but you do not live my know the one where NOTHING is ever easy.

First problem, I couldn't get the damn thing off the wall! It would have been comical is it wasn't so damn frustrating. You'd think after removing the top bolts in the cabinet it would want to fall right off the wall...but no!!! It hung on like a drunk to his bottle!

Finally after nearly wrenching my shoulder out, I was able to get it off the wall mount.

After that the new one went up easy peasy, what a relief.
Mama Bear felt sorry for me...or she was just buttering me up for round two. Either way she offered to take me out to lunch, then casually mentioned we should stop at Loewe's to see if they had a nice new back splash to go behind the range below the new microwave.

As luck would have it they had just what she wanted.

At 30" wide it's the same width as the microwave.

This again was easy, lulling me into a false sense of security and accomplishment.

Next was replacing the antiquated chandelier over the dining room with a lovely ceiling fan with leaded glass globes. No big deal, I've installed plenty of ceiling fans.

So I pull down the chandelier, no problem.

So I need to replace the standard box with a reinforced one that will support the fan. It's in an enclosed rafter not accessible from an attic.

First problem...while the original box was would not come free. Finally after a half hour of being gentle, I went grizzly on it's ass. Taking two pair of pliers, grabbing either side of the box and giving a great heave...out it came.

Now the problem became apparent, it was nailed directly to a beam. Not good.

The enhanced box I bought was a joist spanning type, which would normally be centered between the two.
Through some skillful manipulation on my part I figured a way to make it work, until I went to install it!
Only to discover the builder had placed the box directly in line with a cross joist!!! What a jerk!!!

So, through a 4" hole in the ceiling I had to get a small wood saw up in there to cut the cross joist taking VERY small strokes! 20 min. later I was through, now I had to get my hand up in there and wiggle and twist back and forth before I was FINALLY able to rip that bitch out!!! 


I threw it to the ground, called it names, insulted it's parentage, it's sexual proclivities, and insinuated it's family tree didn't branch!!! Beat my chest and roared my superiority over that stupid piece of wood!!!

All from the top of a step ladder.

This should have been an omen...
For every single thing that could go wrong, did.
Everything I could drop, I did...
Everything that had to go together was a fight!
I was up and down that God damned ladder more times than I can count...and I can count quite high!!!
And I don't even use my toes!

After several hours of sweating, swearing, and dirty looks at the woman putting me through this misery...
We finally have a beautiful leaded glass ceiling fan.

For some reason the colors just don't come through in the picture, and if I turn the lights on it washes them out in the picture...but you get the idea!

So, it's time for some Aleve with a Tylenol chaser...
Kick back in my recently exorcised recliner, post today's very late (you now know why) blog.

Hope you all had a fun and productive day...

Be Well!

A very tired Beastly Bear


  1. See this is why I hate DIY home projects. Russell loves them. And that's where we diverge. I want a move in ready house, he wants a fixer upper. I said, 'well you have fun with that.'

    1. This house makes me nuts!!! This is how screwed up it is, my Father-in-law was helping me put a ceiling fan in the family room, which backs up to the garage. When we finished, it didn't power! We took it apart, checked all the connections, all good. Then I noticed the mini fridge in the garage wasn't working, checked the breakers, all good. WTH?!? Went to use the half bath downstairs, no light. This sometimes happens if the ground fault outlet trips in the upstairs bathroom. So go upstairs, reset the outlet. Lights, fridge AND ceiling fan all come on!!!!!

  2. Joe I hear you! I often tell people "you want a hobby?" Buy a house! Always something to do. Down here in TN I spread over four yards of black mulch around the house last weekend, trimmed all the holly bushes, mowed my acre, weed and feed same and helped inside with those chores.

    1. Well Hello Dave! Sounds like you've been a busy fella yourself! Thanks for dropping in to read my ramblings! :-)

    2. I read most if not all. I just put myself on Follow today. You my friend have had some adventures! Keep it up!

  3. That ceiling fan is gorgeous! ♥ In the end all that trouble was worth it, because it all looks amazing! ♥

    1. Thanks Kathy, looking at it now it was worth the trouble...

  4. I'm sorry but I have to laugh! Hahahahahahaha! Your work is beautiful but I would have LOVED a video on your technique!!! Poor you.. I think you deserved more than lunch! ;)