Saturday, April 26, 2014

First loves...

Den of the Beastly Bear

Hi Folks!

Some guys and I were talking at work tonight about first loves...

Tom told me about his, how when he first laid eyes on that body he was transfixed!

Matt told me of the way his made him feel, she excited him like nothing ever had!

I had to tell them how mine got away...and how it made me sick to my stomach! Angry and hurt, and I never got over it...

Let me tell you how we met.

After my car accident, I was driving a 1970 Dodge Dart Swinger in Olive Drab paint...imagine if an army tank slept with Grandma's sedan, their offspring would have been that car. With a 1 barrel, 198 c.i. slant-six it couldn't get out of it's own way! We paid $50 for it, from a guy whose Mother was too old to drive...yeah, it was one of those.

Embarrassed of my crappy car, I wasn't dating much...

A guy my Mother worked with, said he knew a gal that would be perfect for me, and she should bring me over to meet her. He told my mother of her unsurpassed beauty, classy and mild mannered...a perfect match for a young man. Mom asked if I was interested...

Well, Duh!

When the day arrived I was excited, I couldn't believe my luck...ladies like her were few and far between. Normally out of my league, I couldn't believe I had a chance with her...

As we pulled into the driveway he came out of the house to greet us, he told us she was in the barn with the horses and he'd take us out to meet her.

We entered the barn, which was dimly lit...shafts of light showing swirling dust motes, and smelling of clean hay.

He led us around a corner and there she was...the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen in all my 17 years!

A 1974 black on black Pontiac Firebird Formula!
Oh My God!!! I was in Love!!!

My Mom didn't know a lot about cars, she told me it was this fellows wife's car. She didn't like the normal hood so he'd gotten a fiberglass hood in an "L Eight Eighty" style she told me. I could see now it was in fact an L88 style hood, like on hot rod Corvettes!

He'd removed the original exhaust and replaced it with 4" flat black sidepipes that ended just before the rear tires. He'd also replaced the standard gearshift with a Hurst short throw shifter, on the 4-speed manual tranny. My Mom couldn't remember what size engine was in it "but it ends in two letters, like O.H., or H.D. or maybe H.O....

When I popped the hood, it was in fact a 455 c.i. H.O. (high output for you non-car folks) that he'd dressed up with chromed valve covers, chromed air filter housing, even a chromed master cylinder cover!!!

His wife wanted a new car, and he was willing to make us a deal on this one, for $3,700.00! Quite a bit of money for a guy with a $3.75 an hour job, but if Mom would co-sign a loan...
Oh MAN, I'd be the King of my High School!!!!

"Whadya think?" he if he didn't know.

"She's a beaut!" I said "can we start'er up?"

"Sure," he said and tossed me the keys.

Herein lay the problem, while I knew in theory how to drive a stick at that time I'd never actually driven one.
But I DID know how to start it!

As I pushed in the clutch and moved the shifter to neutral, he told me:
"Put in a competition clutch too, when it needed a new one, higher lift cams and a 750 cfm double pumper carb...she drives and shifts like a dream..."

I turned the key and she rumbled to life, and I couldn't keep the grin off my face...

"I don't know what all that means," Mom said "but I think he likes it!"

"I do Ma, I really do!!! Can we get it?!? Please?" I begged, yes I begged! I'm not too proud to admit it.

"We haven't even driven it yet, and you don't know how...I'll take it for a drive to make sure it drives OK, and everything works..."

"There's not a thing wrong with this car, I wouldn't do that to you..." My ally told her.

"Still, I'll feel better if I drive it be sure." Mom said.

"OK, let me get the door...I got some other goodies I'll let you guys have, I'll show your son what all I've got until you get back.  I got receipts and service records, the original window sticker...all kinds of stuff."

He began the "show and tell" as Mom eased her out of the barn, down the driveway and out into the street. Oh what a sound she made as she accelerated down the street.

I was collecting quite a bit of loot as Mom pulled back in the driveway some 15 mins. later. 

I knew something was amiss as soon as she got out of the car...

She held the keys out to her friend, and he put out a palm to accept them.

"Well?" He said "nice ride huh?!?"

She looked past him, to me...looked back at him, in the the eye and slowly said:
"No...Fucking...Way! No Fucking Way you're selling him that car!!!"

I was stunned...I'd never heard my Mother use the "F word" in anything less than in the peak of utmost anger before...never conversationally!!!

"Why not? What's wrong with it?" I asked

"You'll kill yourself in that car...or worse yet, someone else! That car is WAY too fast for you...and YOU, " she said rounding on the owner "you should have your fucking head examined for trying to sell that, that... BEAST to a 17 year old boy!!!"

With that, she turned on her heel and marched back to our car...

He looked at me "Sorry chief, looks like that's a no sale" he said, and shook my hand.

And that was the last time I saw her...I loved her, and lost her, before she was even mine...and I was sick over it!

I've never forgotten her...even now, some 34 years later I can still see her sitting there, a black beauty beckoning me to a life of thrills and adventure!!!

It's true, you never forget your first love...

Be Well Folks!!!

Beastly Bear


  1. I'm a car guy and this story nearly brought me to tears. I can see her, too. I can feel her rumble under by butt as I rev the motor and slowly release that new clutch to ease out of the barn and bring her to full power once the road is clear. Oh, enough! I can't stand it!

    1. I know...I hurt all over again to write it down...Lol!

  2. My first love was a bright red Ferrari.. Let's just leave it at that as I reach for a tissue.. :(

    1. Those Italians...they're heart breakers!!!

  3. From the first sentence I knew this would be a car story, and a damn good one at that. I was not as into muscle cars, my first love was an Austin Healy 3000. I settled for a '58 MGA. Not the same, but not too shabby for $800.

    Oh yeah, your mom was probably right.

    1. Austin Healy 3000's??? Well you certainly have good taste joeh! Love those myself!!! I'm also partial to 57-61 Studebaker Hawks, Triumph GT-6's, and oddly Volvo 1800's and Saab Sonnets!

      Yes, from the perspective of my 51 year old self...Mom was definitely right!!! ;-)

    2. PS joeh,
      Thank you for the kind words! :-)

  4. Sounds like a 'death car' to me too. I'm kinda glad you didn't get it...what if you had gotten into a horrible accident? You were a kid...who could resist all that power and speed?

    1. JoJo, you're killing me...
      Of course I NEVER would speed...or lay rubber, or powerslide turns!!!
      Especially in a post "Smokey and the Bandit" and "Dukes of Hazzard" world where we were all shown the dangers of fast cars and hot women!!! Lolololol

  5. Sweet car, but it may have been a "death car" in your hands like JoJo said and definitely one that would get you lots of tickets. I would have been brokenhearted too. So much for having loved and lost bullshit.

    1. Oh but would have be EPIC!!!
      *heavy sigh*

  6. oooh Joe I thought I was your first love, I remember writing in my diary that our first kiss was like two pillows on my lips. OMG the good old days don't mean to embarrass you Joe whatever if you want to say it was a car i understand such a guy you are. :)

    1. Well Miss Cathy...I had no idea you read these! Lol
      Of course that was my first CAR love... ;-)
      8th. Grade...seems like a million years ago, don't worry your place in history is safe!!!

  7. I can see why you loved her was a beaut!

    1. Instead I ended up with a 1977 Ford F150 pickup...nowhere near as sexy as my first love!

  8. My first car was a Pontiac T1000. Remember those? Not nearly that nice.

    1. Wow, the Pontiac version of the Chevette! I was always too big to drive one of those, had a female friend that had one and my foot was so wide when I hit the gas I hit the brake as well unless I turned my foot uncomfortably first car was a 73 Pontiac Catalina, never loved it but it was a pretty nice car.

  9. I like that car. I think you would have gotten the car if a male had gone with you instead of Mom.