Friday, March 14, 2014

Lesson learned...

Den of the Beastly Bear

Hi Folks!

Ever been in line at a store, and had to endure an argument between a parent and child in line in front of you?

We all have right?

It's almost universally cringe worthy as the kid pushes boundaries, and lips off feeling secure in the fact the parent will not escalate in public.

I always felt I knew exactly how I'd handle a situation like that. I felt there was no WAY my kid would talk to me like the kids I'd witnessed talked to their parents.

And then it happened to me...

Mama Bear, Princess Bear and I were in Kohls doing some Christmas shopping. Our treasures procured we headed for the check-out. The place was packed, lines were long and tempers short when Kaitlin started a discussion about going to a party.

I was adamantly opposed to her attending this party, being thrown by the class "problem" child. 

In earlier years my daughter and this girl were friends. A girl being raised by her Grandmother because her mother was a drug addict. As the girl got older, Grandma became overwhelmed...the girls behavior becoming more and more out of control.

The nail in the coffin of my daughter EVER hanging with this girl again came from a story from my own daughters lips.

It seems the year before this girl had a party (which my daughter did not attend) commemorating their graduation from 6th. grade.
During a game of  "7 minutes in heaven" (proof Grandma wasn't paying attention) my daughters former friend preformed oral sex on a boy she liked in the downstairs closet, to completion. 
At 12, this was a little more than this young man was prepared to handle. Freaked out...he told his Mom.

Needless to say, Mom was not remotely amused!!!

So now she was throwing a Christmas party and my 13 year old daughter wanted to go.

"Nothing like that is going to happen this time Daddy, she got in so much trouble last time...her Grandma will be there the whole time..." She pleaded.

"Meaning what? That Grandma left a bunch of 12 year olds home alone last time?!? I'm sure Grandma was "home" last time too Katie, the answer is still no."

The "discussion" quickly escalated to "argument", my answer went from not just "no" to "HELL NO"!

As I looked around me I saw on the faces of the people surrounding us both sympathy and annoyance. I realized I had become "that" parent.

Tall for her age, Katie looked older than she was. Almost as tall as her 5'9" mother.

About this time she was in full "lose my fucking mind" teenager mode. Said something about being old enough to make her own decisions, and I can't stop her and blah, blah, blah!!! All this accompanied by the 
"Ghetto head weave" and ended with her nose about an inch from daughter is definitely not scared to poke the bear!

I was first inclination was to just wipe her right off her feet...probably illegal and too many witnesses. Instead, I brought my forehead forward and down, right into hers...hard.

She took a step backwards rubbing her head.

"Oooooooowwww" she said "that hurt!"

My turn to step in.

"You do that to me again, and next time I will knock your stupid...ass...out!!! You understand me?!?


"What? I didn't hear that?!?"

"YES, I said...geez!!!"

"You're not going to that god damn party, and I don't want to hear another fucking word about it. Clear?"

"Clear" she said sullenly

As the rage dissipated and I looked around again...
The guy behind us was chuckling, when I met his eyes he gave me a nod. A couple women around us were covering smiles with their hands, studiously looking anywhere but at me...and no one was calling 911! Whew.

The only person not at least a little amused was Mama Bear!!! After receiving the "look of death" I knew I'd be hearing about this later...

On the plus side, 9 years later not once has she ever done that to me again...I say "lesson learned"!

Be Well Folks!

Beastly Bear


  1. Sometimes the cubs need to be cuffed down. So now that she's grown, does she keep in touch with this girl at all now?

    1. Not at all JoJo, she wasn't even hanging with her when this happened. They had a couple classes together, that's it...but she wanted to go to that party! Cause "everybody's going...I'll be the only one being treated like a little kid"
      Told her I doubted that.... if other parents had heard that same story, she'd not be the only one that suddenly couldn't make it!!!

  2. You're such a better parent than me. My kids knew, if my answer was no the first time, it wasn't changing no matter how much bullshit they thought they'd pull. My youngest boy wasn't quite the quick study that his older siblings were and in public he thought he'd machine gun me with wanting to hang out with someone. I said no. He yammered on and right in front of God and everyone I said, "You say one more word and you won't have any teeth left in your head. Got it?" He shut up and all of the parents nodded with that nod of knowing all parents have. When we got to the car he said, "I can't believe you said that in front of all those people." I said, "Then you really wouldn't have believed it when you were picking your teeth up off of the ground. Ask your brother."

  3. I don't believe that's true MiMi, you've raised wonderful kids! I just had the one!!!
    I told her more than once "You are so luck you weren't born a boy, cause I'd have knocked your ass out by now!!!" Everybody said I was too strict on Katie...maybe, but she turned out a pretty great young woman.