Saturday, March 8, 2014

My New word...

Den of the Beastly Bear

Hi Folks!

I saw this online the other day, and it made me think up a new word. Like "Askholes", remember?
My new word???

Corvettiot: A person that suffers under the delusion that having an expensive/sports car allows them to ignore such things as physics and common sense!

Over my 15 years as a truck driver I saw MANY examples of Corvettiots on the road!

The one I find most memorable happened one hot July day on I-75 Northbound near Flint, MI.

We had just experienced a couple days of storms, highlighted by high winds and torrential downpours!

I had a run heading to the middle of the state, and the radio was full of dire warnings of flooding and road closures...

So it was no surprise when I got up near Flint, and traffic started to back up. I-75 dips around Corunna Rd., and sometimes the drains get plugged with debris.

This is usually not a big deal, with maybe a lane or two being covered with water. Traffic backs up as people slow down to ease through the water.

This time was different!
THIS time, due to the shear volume of water we'd had over the last couple days. On this particular day what we had was a 150 ft. lake, that topped out at a little OVER 3ft. deep!!!

The majority of the drivers, recognizing the water was way too deep for an passenger car to get through were either exiting the expressway prior to the slowdown or were backing up the on ramp to avoid it.

There were a couple cars that had tried to brave the depths, their abandoned husks lending warning to all who saw them. 4X4 trucks and taller SUV's were able to surmount the challenge, as long as they went slow.

Semi trucks of course had no problem, so I waited my turn to make the lake crossing.

Ahead of me was a fellow in a bright red 80-82 softnosed Corvette. The day was hot, as I've said and he had his windows down, T-tops off. Now this guy had the same view of the lake before us as I did.

Clearly this was not a body of water a Corvette was meant to cross! The abandoned cars in the water had water over half way up their doors for Gods sake!!!

So I stayed back to give him plenty of room to navigate up the onramp, either to back up it...or he had enough room he could have turned around and drove right up it.

So our hero set there...surveyed the scene, looked left...looked right, put the car in gear and drove right into the lake!!!!

What the HELL was this fool thinking?!?
Did he somehow think that because his cars body was made of fiberglass that he'd just float across?!?
Did he think that somehow his pretty car was magically immune to the forces of nature???
Perhaps his wax job would make his car water repellent?!?

For whatever reason, he drove right in like he had not a care in the world!
I was stupefied!
He actually made it farther than I thought he would, perhaps it was just his momentum caring him forward but he made it all the way to the deepest part before his car gave up and would go no further.

So, there he sat...water up to the window sill of his door, dead center of our little lake.

I had not even entered the water yet, too invested in just watching this fool ruin his car.

So now it was my turn...
I hung to the far side, giving him as wide a berth as possible. I did not "rush"or "speed" through...but an 18 wheeler displaces a LOT of water and not being designed for the water...create quite a wake.

Though I tried my best...ok, truth be told I didn't try THAT hard...
I watched in my mirror as my wake caught up to, and engulfed the Corvette!
The water rolled right up the the back window and poured into the open T-tops...right on top of the Corvettiot!!!

The look on his face as he spit and sputtered, and tried to wipe the water from his face as he realized, FINALLY, what he had there were dozens of Semi's lined up to make the crossing!!!

I wish I could talk to this guy, and find out just what the thought process was that led him to make such a catastrophic blunder!

I mean, I've owned a Corvette of the same body style as this guy. And I'd NEVER have treated my baby so!

This was mine...if you look close you'll see the front license plate was a roaring grizzly. Vanity license plate was "Ursus", Latin for "bear"...go figure! Lol.
When explained, this prompted a blonde friend to say
"I didn't know you were Hispanic!?!"
"Not that kind of Latin, the Latin used to scientifically identify genus and species..."
"Oh...I was gonna say, I thought Hispanics spoke Spanish not Latin." 
"But I'm not.... Never mind." Did I mention she's blonde.

Honestly, the best way to own cars like these are as second vehicles...especially if if live like I do in an area where our two seasons are Winter and Construction!

But if you do have to drive your sports/muscle car year round, your two favorite words ought to be 
"Common Sense"!

Corvettes, Mustangs, Chargers are NOT boats, snowmobiles, or tractors...use with care so no one can ever say:

"Look at that Corvettiot!!!"

Be Well Folks!

Beastly Bear


  1. Wow that Corvette driver was all kinds of stupid wasn't he? i wonder how he finally got his poor wrecked vehicle out and how much it cost to dry it out and fix it?!

    1. I'm betting they totaled it JoJo! It would have eventually filled with water to the top of the door, completely submerging the interior and the instrument panel!!! That combined with the running engine sucking water into the intake...not good.

  2. What a dumb ass. What the hell was he thinking?? Nevermind. He wasn't!

  3. You know the old joke:
    What's the difference between a porcupine and a Corvette?
    The porcupine has IT'S pricks on the OUTSIDE!!!

    I miss my baby, she wasn't that fast, but she was pretty!!!