Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Boys: The Enemy...

Den of the Beastly Bear

Howdy Folks! Warning, this one's a little long!

No word conjours more dread in the hearts of fathers of daughters! Mainly because we were all boys once...and we know what we're like!

When Princess Bear was born, she became my whole world! She was my little pal!!! Nothing beat coming home from a just awful day at work, walking in the door and hearing that squeel "DADDY!!!!"

They say that a father is his daughter's first love, and I surely felt that way! But Princess Bear is her father's daughter...I knew it wouldn't last forever. I just thought I'd have more time.
She was 3! She came home from daycare/preschool, and made the announcement... The one that broke my heart.
"Guess what daddy...I've got a boyfriend!"
"You do, well what is this young man's name?"
"Him's name is Michael!"
"Michael eh?" I asked thoughtfully "and how old is Michael?"
She held up her hand, all fingers displayed.
"He's this many!"
"5 huh? An older man. Maybe I should have a little talk with this 'Michael'!"
"Hunh uh daddy, you better not..."
"Why not?" I asked
"Cause he'll knock you on you butt!"
"Really? That must be some big 5 year old!"
She just giggled...and so it began!

There have been many since, some I've liked, some not so much....some never made it past "sup?"

We had gone to the local Cinaplex located within our mall. We were on our way out, Momma needed the restroom and Princess had spotted some kids from school.
"Can I go say 'Hi' Dad? There's a guy over there I REALLY like..."
"Sure, I'll wait for your Mom...go ahead."
When Momma Bear was done Katie came back all excited.
"I Want you guys to meet him...OK?"
"Sure..." I said. Here we go again...
"He's the one sitting down..."
As we approached I did the whole Sherlockian thing.
Hair: moderate, stylish. Nothing weird, not "making a statement". Good
Clothing: not 'thug'd' out, good. Again within standards
Shoes: Nike, but not 'Jordan's' so not spoiled, laced properly-not lazy.
Social: with a group of friends, not a loner. Relaxed, laughing: comfortable. Good
Overall: moderately attractive, not so much to be stuck on himself...yet not a step down for my daughter.
Ok, he may have potential.
He was sitting on the bench, arms spread across the back. Legs crossed at the knee...as we walked up his attention diverted from his friends to us.
"Mom, Dad, This is Steve....Steve, this is my Mom and Dad."
Here's where ole' Steve blew it.
He looked my wife up and down, turned his attention to me, gave the 1 inch chin raise and said.
Some small talk was made, and finally we left.
"So.....what do you think?" Princess asked me.
"I think not." I replied
"He's not that interested honey, sorry..."
"What do you mean 'not that interested'???" She demanded.
"Ok baby, here's the thing. When you're interested in a girl, and you meet her parents for the first time. You get your lazy ass up off the bench, shake her Dad's hand and say "Pleased to meet you Mr. Ormerod, Mrs. Ormerod!" You don't stay seated, give a head bob and say 'Sup!"

Then there was mini Eminem.
Or at least that's how he thought of himself.
REALLY didn't like him, but tried for my daughters sake to keep my mouth shut. He was self important, disrespectful, not just to us but to my daughter as well.
About 5'6" and a buck thirty soaking wet, he fancied himself a bad ass because he was from Pontiac, living in Clarkston.
Neither of them could drive, and I had brought them home from school so they could spend a little time together.
I was listening to this little blowhard asshole regaling my daughter with stories of how he and his hommies were harassing another kid. My daughter said.
"You better be careful you don't get your ass kicked. He's a pretty big guy!"
"I ain't scared of that Lil bitch, I can take care of myself babe. I grew up in the 'hood!!!"
I couldn't take it anymore.
"Well," I said "I grew up in the woods, and I can hide your body where it never will be found!" 
And just smiled at him.

Thank God that ran it's course!

Now she's an adult, 22 and my opinion doesn't quite carry the weight it once did! She has several "satellite" guys circling around her...none have dropped the hammer and asked her out yet! But it's just a matter of time...
Be gentle with my daughter's heart boys...
Cause I got a spot all picked out, you'll like it. It's very peaceful there...    ;-)

Be Well!

Beastly Bear


  1. First of all, Princess Bear is beautiful. Second, isn't it the worst going through all of that?? We can spot the losers a mile away and our kids can't.. It's so frustrating.. I thought I would never get through that time. Thank goodness everyone is now married, engaged or otherwise mated for life!

    1. Thanks MiMi! Yes, it can be frustrating...I hope she finds someone that treats her the way she deserves to be treated...otherwise....Lol!

  2. Your daughter is beautiful and she is lucky to have a dad like you. Sounds like she has had her fair share of jerks.

    1. Thank you Kathy...I try my best!!! And yes she has... ;-)