Saturday, January 18, 2014 won't believe this...

Den of the Beastly Bear

Hi Folks!

To paraphrase Sally Fields, 
"You like me, you really like me!!!" 
Or maybe you REALLY don't, but either way you ARE reading me....
1000+ visits in 17 days!!!
When I started this I really didn't think anyone would care...

My friend and blogging Diva, Magical Mystical MiMi encouraged me, schooled me and has supported me above and beyond!!! Thank you, MiMi!!!

1000 views might not seem like much. But hey, it's a big deal to me!!!

So I'll tell you a little bonus story, not really about my wife but...well you'll see! 

We'd been married almost 20 yrs., and as everyone that's been in a long-term relationship will tell that point certain things that mattered a lot when dating don't seem that important anymore. They can even be quite amusing. Like gas...
Things that would mortify you on a date may start a giggle fest. Like the unexpected sneeze/fart!

Kathy and I had been doing Weight Watchers for quite some time, and were doing very well! One of the major changes we'd made was the inclusion of more fresh fruits and vegetables. A byproduct of this change was a prodigious production of methane! 

We needed to go to the store for something, I don't recall what but in necessitated a trip to Kmart. I was less than interested and told Kathy I was going to go and look at the DVD's, she said she'd meet me there...

So there I stand, alone in the DVD aisle perusing the titles intently when Kathy walks up right next to me.
That sauteed broccoli with garlic and onions we'd had with dinner was talking to me...and like "Old Faithful" it was just a matter of time!

So trying to be humorous I took half a sidestep next to her, picked up the leg closest to her bent slightly at the waist, cocking my ass in her direction...and let rip!
And RIP it did, thankfully we were the only two in the aisle.
"What do you think of that???" I asked as I turned to...


The look on this poor woman's face was...well, imagine a combination of horror, revulsion, and distress!
"Oh my God, I'm sooooooo sorry!!!" I stammered
"I thought you were my wife...."
She kind of nodded, hand to her nose and mumbled an "S'OK"
I apologized again and beat feet outta there as fast as my shoes would carry me, to find Kathy.
When I did I told her "Don't ever do that to me again..."
"What?" She asked puzzled
"Let me fart on a complete stranger...come on, we're getting out of here before she calls security!"
"Wait, you farted on somebody?!?!"
"Yeah, I thought it was you..."
"Serves you right!" she said and started to laugh
"It's not funny.." I said "now come on before they throw us out of here!" 
"Just fart on them too..." She said between tears of laughter. I almost had to drag her out as she could hardly walk for laughing so hard.

We instead headed to Meijer, where we got what we needed and I minded my manners...amid sudden and unexpected bursts of laughter...
*heavy sigh*
Well, I had it coming!!!

Be Well Folks!

A very humiliated,
Beastly Bear


  1. I am laughing so hard! I just tried to read this to my husband and I couldn't b/c I was choking. The reason why it's esp. funny is that I'm sitting here lighting match after match because of his stink bombs. He is eating more fruits and veggies too since being with me and wow is he torturing me. I think my nose hairs are singed. lmao

  2. I have no words.....because I am laughing too hard!!! KatW

  3. OMG!!!!!!!!!!!! I just read this to Connie and I could barely get the words out and we're laughing with tears streaming down our face.. OMG Joe.. Omg..

  4. Thank you all for stopping by!!
    To say the least I was mortified... I can laugh about it now, but I definitely learned my lesson! Now I make sure I know EXACTLY who I fart on!!! Lol!

  5. Oh and thank you for all of your kind words but the training wheels are off now, you're on your own so stop thanking me already! ;)

    1. Aw come on MiMi, I gotta have somebody to blame when the wheels finally fall off this thing!!! Lol

  6. O M G, I believe I soaked my panties laughing so hard at that one. Please don't fart on me! With my luck you will shit instead. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

  7. That's a deal Kathy! ;-)
    I learned my lesson!!! Lol

  8. Funny, Joe I had to read this to my husband..... Can't stop laughing...

    1. Thank you Sharon...I hope he likes it !!! And for your sake, I hope he's not a serial farter!!!