Saturday, February 22, 2014


Den of the Beastly Bear

Hi Folks!

Askhole: a person that asks you advice, then completely ignores it.

I used to have a friend, "used to" being the operative term, we'll call him Mr. A.

One day Mr. A gives me a call to ask my advice.
"I want to buy my wife a gun so she can go shooting with me, and for home defense."

Mr. A sought out my advice, I believe for two reasons.
1) I used to work at a sporting goods store, and sold weapons for a living.
2) I'm a Concealed Weapons Carrier, and shooting enthusiast. I shoot, have competed with, and hunted with handguns.

So, my advice to Mr. A was this:
" Most women that are inexperienced in the use of guns are best served by getting them a .22, either a revolver because they are dead simple to work with minimal moving parts or if she can handle something a little more complex .22 auto's are a great choice!"

"Well, I want her to be able to defend herself and the kids with it if need be... isn't a .22 too small for that?"

Ah ha, I've seen this COUNTLESS times before.
The boyfriend/husband brings the girlfriend/wife in to get a gun, except she is just the "excuse" he is using to buy himself a new gun. When they want to see a double stack magazine 9mm she can barely get her hand around, let alone be able to shoot accurately without HOURS of training and hundreds of rounds of ammo, despite recommendations otherwise...I'm sure!

"Not at all," I explained "more people are killed every year by .22's than any other caliber. A hit with a .22 is far better than a miss with a .44 magnum she's scared to death of."

"What about a .380 or a 9mm?"

"Of course larger bullets are more effective, but the blast, recoil, and action of one of those will scare her and then she won't want to shoot...which is what you want. The small size of .380's compounds the problems by concentrating the recoil into a smaller area of her hand, and the smaller grip makes the harder to hold onto, and because they are designed to be concealable the generally have crappy sights which makes them harder to shoot well. 9mm's are larger with better sights but the size of the grip is too larger for most women as most 9's these days have double stack magazines. I'm telling you, get her a .22 she'll love shooting it, ammo is cheap, she'll be more accurate with it, which will build her confidence...which is what you want."

When we ended the conversation we had discussed different models, in different price ranges, and the pros and con's of different action types. With my final admonition to have her handle the guns herself, and pick the one that feels best in her hand. Easy breezy.

So a couple days go by and he calls me to ask if he and the wife could come over? I said sure, come on...

When they came in his wife was carrying a pistol size gun case.

"Well, we got her a him honey."

She unzips the gun case and pulls out a Ruger Blackhawk with a 7½" barrel, in .357 magnum!

This is a gigantic pistol!

The antithesis of EVERYTHING we discussed! This gun was wrong for her for more reasons than I could count, the biggest being it is a single action. That means that every time you want the gun to fire you must cock the hammer, first....every...time...
Put yourself in a self defense situation where time is measure in tenths of a second...high stress...even if she remembers the first time...will she have time for another?!?

He looks at me, gives a shrug and says "It's what she wanted.." Yeah, right...

Well, done is done...
"Ok," I tell him "if you don't want her terrified of that cannon, do this:

  • Do NOT take her to an indoor range! The concussion inside will cause her to flinch, and jump. Take her to an outdoor range.
  • Do NOT buy magnum ammo for that gun!!! .357's can shot .38 specials. Buy 148 grain wadcutter ammo. It is VERY light noise/recoil and will get her used to shooting it. Then you can gradually increase the power of the ammo if you want, but the wadcutters will suffice for home defense.
  • Make sure you make her wear shooting muffs, not just earplugs. 

So a week or so goes by...when I get another call.

"Well, I took her shooting...or tried..."

"What happened?" I asked feeling sure I already knew.
"Where'd you guys go?"

"Bass Pro Shop"

"So an indoor range, like I told you not to....what ammo did you buy?"

"158 grain .357 magnum Jacketed hollow points."

"Why in the HELL would you do that?!?"

"The guy there said it was the best self defense ammo..."

"Well, #1 it's not...though I'm sure it WAS the most expensive! And #2 it's the exact opposite of the power spectrum from...oh never mind, what happened?"

"She took one shot, put it down and said 'FUCK THAT'! Took out her earplugs and left the range."

"EARPLUGS?!?! BUT I..." Oh screw it...

Why even ask if you're going to do the opposite of everything I tell you?


Be Well Folks!

Beastly Bear


  1. I was reading bits and pieces of this to my fiance' and he was like, 'WHAT?!?!?!' just like you were. OMG!!! My ex husband got me a .22 revolver and I love it. He took me shooting once and he was taken aback at what a good shot I was and never took me back to the range again.

    But the first time he took me shooting b/f he got me the .22, we went to an indoor range. The guy next to us was firing a cannon and hot shells were flying over the barrier and hitting me in the head. Brian made me take one shot w/ his gun. My goggles were all fogged up b/c I was sweating like a pig out of nerves. I had the earmuffs on but it was still loud. I took one shot with my eyes closed, dropped the gun on the counter and fled to the store. I literally came tumbling out of the 'airlock' b/t the store and range, whipped the muffs and goggles off and slammed them on the counter. There was a Pierce County sheriff chit chatting with the store owner and they both stopped and looked at me, and said, 'Are you OK?' I said, 'No. this is SO not for me. I'm just gonna go sit down on that bench and wait for my husband if that's OK'. lol

    1. JoJo, women are often phenomenal shots...when they are not afraid of what they're shooting. Teaching a women to shoot is far easier than men, as there's no ego to get in the way. That, and they know they don't know what they're doing so are much more receptive of instruction and advice!

  2. I have nothing to say about the actual gun subject because I am fairly anti-gun in the home, but I don't need nor want to stop others from doing so, just MY home and the homes where my grandbabies live. Some have them, some don't. So my advice is not heeded, but I get that.
    So...the ask and ignore aspect of this piece...happens to me all the time. I am the Ann Landers of my circle of friends and I offer advice when asked and then watch them do what they were hoping I would suggest rather than what I did suggest. Same with family, sometimes. I often just say that I don't really have an opinion because it carries no weight anyway so why would I spend time thinking through a situation to help said person since it will go in one ear and out the other. Askholes are everywhere.

    1. I respect your choice Jo, and support your right to it.
      At the risk of playing devils advocate, I can't help but wonder if you are also opposed to knives, hammers, and matches/lighters in the home as well?
      Guns, like these other things are tools...when used/stored properly they represent no danger to anyone living in the home. Misused all are capable of death and destruction.
      And like parachutes, if you need one and don't have are likely never going to need one again!

  3. OMG! When I saw this over the weekend I laughed my ass off! Ironically, the same "Askholes" are usually the type that will force their opinion down others throat and continue to do so with dogged persistency.

    As a sidenote, I am the guilty party that picked that gun! Very true story! You also told the Askhole to replace the wood grips with rubber grips as this would have increased the accuracy of the shooting. You are at a disadvantage shooting that long of a barrel anyway then the wood grips make the gun easy to slip. The grip replacement never happened.

    Fast forward years later, I still have that gun. And ironically, of all my guns, it is now my very favorite gun to shoot. It is not a carry in your purse kind of gun, it could be used for self defense, but really it is a take out in the backyard and shoot kind of gun. I still however, will not fire it in an indoor range.

    I think your advice was stellar advice on this gun, no regrets about the purchase just the execution of the learning curve.

    And remember the best advice any new shooter can have is to shoot at an outdoor range. Honestly, I shoot with some degree of frequency now, and have never attained a level of comfort in an indoor range. They are loud, distracting, and for many people uncomfortable.

    Thanks for a great laugh Joe!

    1. I felt bad for you, what should have been a fun introduction to a highly enjoyable sport was derailed by a "know it all"!
      Pleased the story has a happy ending...and that you weren't permanently put off. Certainly had he listened you'd have been enjoying it years earlier...
      Glad you enjoyed the read... :-)

  4. I prefer an AK47 but that's just me. ;) And like Jo, I deal with Askholes on a daily basis and anymore since they never, ever, ever heed my advice, the advice they sought out, I refuse to give it, instead I write everything down on a piece of paper, stick it in an envelope showcasing how their poor decision making played out. You definitely cannot change an Askhole.

  5. Now I ask," Are you asking because you're going to heed my advice or just making conversation? If the latter I won't waste my time!"