Monday, February 10, 2014

Chasing 'em off...

Den of the Beastly Bear

Hey Folks!

We used to head down to Myrtle Beach SC. every year for the week of the fourth of July.

I was off work anyway for the two week changeover shut down, so it was a nice leisurely vacation.

The first year we went as just our family, having rolled a friends wedding into our vacation plans.

But as a teenager, Princess Bear quickly lost interest in hanging with Mom and Dad so in subsequent years we let her bring someone.

Her first choice was her friend Brandi. (Yes the dreaded stripper "i")

Brandi and Kaitlin were 15 and 14 almost 15 respectively.

Katie looked her age...Brandi, was built like a stripper!
Already rocking the DD's they garnered more than their share of attention on the beach!

We stayed at the Caravelle resort, specifically at the St. Clements hotel. The beauty of this hotel is it sets right on the water. Walk out the hotel and it's less than a 50 yd. walk to the ocean.

There was a small open air bar/restaurant that sets right by the hotel entrance, on the beach!

One night about 10:30pm the girls announced they wanted to go down and get some French fries.

I told them "OK, let me throw on my sandals and we'll go."

"Daaaaaaaad, we want to go by ourselves!" Katie whined.

"Absolutely not! I'll take you down..."

"That's stupid, nothings going to happen to us..."
Getting lippy for her friends benefit.

"Look," I said, shutting her down "there are guys down there been drinking all day! You have to cross the parking lot where someone can snatch you two into a van and be gone before anyone knows what's happening! On top of that, Brandi's my responsibility while on vacation with us! Soooooo, either I go with you OR you can sit your little asses right in this room!"

Recognizing I was serious as a heart attack they exchanged a look, and nodded their grudging assent.

"I won't go in "with" you, but I am going. You girls go in first, I'll come in right behind you and take a seat.
No one has to know we're together, better?"

They agreed that sounded better.

So down we went...
The girls went in and got in line for food, I walked in went and took a seat at a table by the wall that separated the pool area from the beach.

I had just sat down when the first Romeo made his run...
"Hey girls, buy you a drink?"
"No thanks..." Brandi said.
"Awww come on, I'll get you something to drink and you can come over and sit with me and my buddies!"
"Umm, we're like 15 dude..."
"Oops, ok...sorry."

The girls gave me a look, I just smiled.

Enter Romeo #2, Italian...good looking, gold chain and horn. Looked like he stepped right out of "Jersey Shore".
"Hey you doin' ?" (I shit you not, he actually said that)
"Ok..." Katie fielded this one.
"Can I get youse sumptin ta drink?"
"We're only 15, well she's 15..." Pointing to Brandi.
"I'm only 14!" She said.
"Cool, cool...well have a good night!"

They rolled their eyes at me...

Enter Romeo #3 aka Juan Carlos
A little Hispanic guy, shorter than both the shirt, swim trunks hanging half off his ass. A buck twenty soaking wet, if that...
"Hey Chickas, how jew doing eh?"
"Isn't it jess a beautiful night? Can I buy jew lovely ladies a drink?"
"I don't think so...we're 15"
"Heeeey, das hokay....I get jew girls a little 'boom-boom' and jew come party wit me eh?"
"Well as fun as that sounds, there's just one problem..."
"Dere's no problem chicka...we go party" he said doing a little hip grinding dance.
"Yeah there is....see...THAT is my Dad" Katie said pointing to me.
"Whoa....I see you chickas later..." And he disappeared into the crowd.

By this time they had their fries and we headed back to the room...I didn't say a word until the doors were closing on the elevator:
"Told ya..…."

Be Well!

Beastly Bear


  1. LOL Kids, right? Thank god I didn't have any of my own, and my fiance's are in their early 20s! He told me how hard it was the first time he took them to Disney World, as a single father with 3 very small kids.

    1. It's that whole indestructible teenager thing..."Nothing bad could POSSIBLY happen!!! I'm not a little kid anymore...stop worrying about me!!!"

  2. It is a good thing you went with them. Sounds like the place was crawling with whore dogs. Kids don't realize that bad shit can and does happen.

    1. You know, they never asked to go alone again...I'd like to think they learned something...