Thursday, February 27, 2014

Sorry, not interested...

Den of the Beastly Bear

Hi Folks!

Ah what fresh hell is this?!?!
Viral conjunctivitis, caused by my head cold claims the Doc.
I look like an albino bunny my eyes are so red!
Itchy, crusty, scratchy, burny, sensitive to light!!! 
Yay what fun! 
Left work early last night(which I rarely do), amid a chorus of "Jesus, you look like shit!" to get a first thing this AM appointment.

Got a prescription for drops, hope they help!

Saw this sign here No Soliciting signs
I'm seriously thinking of buying one...

I swear these people don't know the meaning of the word "No"! Oh how I envy those that live on a mountain top, or so deep in the boondocks as to be unassailable by these nitwits!

Honestly, when the first thing I say to you when I open the door and see "Weatherguard Windows" on your jacket is "I not interested, thanks!".

Understand that there is NOTHING you can say to me other than "I'm giving this shit away for free!!!" that will entice me to listen to a word you have to say!!!

I once fell for the "We'll give you a free carpet cleaning if you'll allow me to demonstrate our new household appliance."

Not knowing what I was getting myself into, until he grabbed the Kirby Vacuum cleaner box he had surreptitiously hidden around the corner until I agreed.

So instead of a certificate for a carpet cleaning he used the Kirby to do it right then.

When he was through with his Demo, he asked if I would buy it, "No," I said " I'm not interested"

"Ok," he replied " let me set my box on your front porch so my boss will know to pick me up."

So his boss shows up, an attractive woman in her late 20's or early 30's and asks what we thought of the demo? Were we impressed?

Yes, we assured them but still don't want it, can't afford it, won't be buying it.

"What if I told you it could cost you as little as .33¢ a day?"

"I'd say I still don't want it..." I said

OK OK, I understand....could I use your restroom? I'm afraid my coffee went right through me."

"Sure" says Kathy "let me show you where it is.."

When Kathy comes back she's laughing and shaking her head. Evidently this was can ruse to get Kathy alone to try to get her on their side. With the "Who's really in charge here?" And "You can get him to get it for you can't you?"

She replied with "You obviously don't know my husband!"

When she came back she again tried the hard sell.

Said she could reduce the payment to .17¢ a day...
When I told her it was still too much for something I don't want.

Then she says "Well what are we supposed to do with this machine? We can't sell it as new NOW!!!"

"That is really not my problem, you came to ME asking if you could DEMONSTRATE an appliance...not try to force me to buy something I don't want. Now I've been more than patient and polite, and I have places to go so I'll have to ask you to leave now."

"But sir you..."

"LOOK, you've got to the count of 5 to get your shit and get out of my house or I will physically PUT you out, understand me?"

"There's no reason to..."

"1" I said standing up.

"This is ridiculous..."

"2" I walked to the door.

"You wouldn't..."

"3" I opened the door

At this point Kathy offered.
 "I suggest you hurry, he IS serious"


They made a mad scramble to grab everything between the two of them and rush out the door

"5" I said as I slammed the door behind them!!!

That was 25 years ago, and no less than 5 more times have Kirby people tried that same scam on me...

Except now before they even get started I say "Kirby?"

They nod yes.

"Sorry, not interested..."

Be Well!

Beastly Bear


  1. I could never be a salesperson or phone telemarketer. I am willing to bet it's a very small percentage of people who actually buy. Not many people ever came to my door in WA b/c of our steep driveway that was always slick with wet pineneedles and moss. I've had a few people stop by here but I can only get the door open a crack while fighting to keep the barking dogs from charging out and ripping them apart. I usually say, 'not a good time....dogs...' and shut the door. One day some kids came asking for a donation to the Bourne schools sports program. Russell wanted to give them money and I said no. He was like, 'why?' I said, 'dude, we're from Sandwich, we went to Sandwich High, the Canalmen are our rivals and we don't have kids that go to school in Bourne. WHY would we give them money?' lol

    1. In my mispent youth I briefly had a job for Kirby's biggest competition Filter Queen. They gave us 3 days paid training, then sent us home with our "kit" to practice on our family. When we were finished we were to have our family call our boss to "see how effective" we were...
      What he didn't mention was he was going to try to hard sell my parents on one. Telling them that if they didn't buy it I would have to pay the $2,200.00 for it because now it could not be sold as new!!! That was it for me, I turned their crap in to them the next day, and told them to sue me if they chose!
      The boss tried to calm me by saying it was just a sales technique... I told him I didn't want to work for anyone that would pull that underhanded shit on my family!!!

  2. Everyone always told me I'd be great at sales and the 3 times I was placed in that position I did well but I wasn't that Kirby sales person and I wasn't working on commission. I gave my speel, if they told me they couldn't afford it, I thanked them for their time and apologized for the intrusion into the day and hung up. If someone told me from the get go they weren't interested, I thank them and hung up. I don't like hard sales and in fact whenever I go furniture shopping I tell the sales people, I'll find you when I've found what I'm looking for, if you shadow me, I and your commission will be out the door. I get to shop in peace.

    1. I can't stand hard sales, and do the same..."I'm just looking, I'll call you if I need you." They follow me around, they'll follow me right to the door!
      The other thing I hate are salesman/woman that know less about what they're selling than I do!!! I'm an informed shopper, don't you owe it to me to be at least informed as me if you want the commission for helping me?!?