Tuesday, February 4, 2014

No, Not THAT...

Den of the Beastly Bear

Howdy Folks!

Everyone who's ever been in a relationship knows the dread that accompanies this phrase:

"We need to talk..."

But when you're married, the phrase that strikes fear and dread into the heart of husband's everywhere is this:

"You know, I've been thinking..."

Whenever I hear those words I know it's going to cost me...
It's either going to cost me:
Or all three!

Because the words that follow "You know, I've been thinking..." are never:
  • "you need to go hunting/fishing more."
  • "you should buy a new gun."
  • "I think our next car should be a sports car!"
  • "I don't give you near enough oral sex!"
No, the words that follow are always more like:
  • "I'm tired of these drapes, we should get new ones!" Are you kidding me? The only thing guys hate more than shopping for draperies is...well ok, there is NOTHING guys hate more than shopping for drapes! (Time/money/effort)
  • "We should change around the furniture in the living/family room!" Ladies, guys never walk into a room...look around and say "I love this room, now how can I change it!" (Time/effort)
  • "We should put bushes in, along/in front of _______" Note the Royal "we", which translates to "you" in most of these scenarios! Because other that picking them out, you know who's digging them holes and planting them! (Time/money/EFFORT)
  • "You need to ________"
  • "You should ________"
  • "When are you going to ________"
It does seem you ladies spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about how best we can spend ours!

Am I complaining? Not at all...
I fully realize I am lazy by nature, and often need a fire lit under my ass to get me to do things...that and I procrastinate.

Just every once in a while....we'd like that phrase to end differently!
Any of the above suggestions would be great!   ;-)

Hope this brought a chuckle!

Be Well!

Beastly Bear


  1. LOLOLOLOL. Yeah, well yeah. A guy would drop dead from complete shock if we got all serious and told him...you know honey..you need more blow jobs. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL That just never happens because guys can never get enough of those and frankly I don't know about other people but I have other things to get done in the day than THAT. :P LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

  2. Hmmm Kathy, I think I said ANY of the above would be great...funny you should fixate on that one... LOLOLOLOLOL!!! :-D
    Besides, done right it really shouldn't take THAT long....HAHAHAHA!!! ;-)

  3. KATHY!!!!!! OMG!!!!!! rotflmao

  4. Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Which reminds me of the office chick that got her french doors via a blow job..

    1. Of course "you should get another motorcycle" would work too!!!
      And for the record, French doors take hell of a lot more than one!!!