Saturday, February 15, 2014

My mind?

Den of the Beastly Bear

Hello Folks!

Being sick does things to the mind...

Sitting here contemplating what I'll write about today,
my wife brought me a cup of coffee and a donut. I drank the coffee, ate the donut...still at a loss when I was overcome by a sneezing fit.

Sinuses running like a river, I grabbed the closest thing possible with which to blow my nose...a paper towel on my chair side table.

Blowing my nose like a trumpet, I was suddenly showered with white powder! WHAT THE HELL???

For a moment my mind thought "Oh my god, did that come out of my nose?!? Was I unknowingly snorting cocaine in my sleep? Is the air so dry I have dust in my head? Has my brain dried up and blown away???"

And then it hit me, that was the paper towel Mama Bear had brought me the donut on...a powdered sugar covered donut! Whew...that was a relief! My head was not disintegrating!!! Despite my lack of cohesive thoughts!

7 hrs. Later....

Been chatting with my Idaho mountain pal Magical Mystical MiMi who is currently laid up with back pain after a little spill.

Reminded me of an incident that happened to me years ago.

When Kathy and I first got married we lived in a trailer/mobile home(depending on the part of the country you're from) with a wooden deck leading up to the door. With 5 steps up to the deck.

One winter we had a snow and ice storm...snow first, then freezing rain on top. I was leaving for work, Kathy didn't have to be up for a couple of hours so I gave her a quick kiss goodbye, told her I loved her and I'd see her that evening. She mumbled a "Have a good day..." Before rolling over and snuggling into the covers.

As I stepped out onto the deck, I saw we'd gotten just a couple inches of snow, but a thick coating of ice over top. Being a burly, almost 300 lb. guy I easily broke through but it was still slippery going.

As I got to the steps, I saw the snow had drifted up the steps making them look like a ski ramp rather than steps. But hey, I'm big and burly right?

All I have to do is step down hard with my heel and I'll break right through right? 

Oh, I could not have BEEN more wrong!

My foot came down hard...and suddenly both my feet were at eye level! As I hung there, in the milliseconds before gravity reasserted itself, the thought came to me "This is really gonna hurt!" quickly followed by "I wonder how long I'll lay here before someone finds me?"

At that point gravity(that spiteful bitch) snatched me back to earth, landing with the top step just below my shoulder blades. Then I proceeded to bounce down each step until landing in a heap on the cement pad at the bottom.

As I lay there motionless, waiting for the pain to begin and doing the part by part function know.
Knees...ok. pain there.

When the door opens.
Kathy sticks her head out and calls "Joe???"
"" I croak out, seems "ribs" did not get the ok yet!
"Oh my GOD, what happened??? It sounded like a car ran into the trailer!!! The whole trailer shook!" 
(The bedroom was in the BACK of the trailer)
This is when my compassionate wife starts laughing...
"Oh god, are you ok...hahaha I mean do you need help?!? Hahaha"
"No, stay inside...I think I'm ok..."

It took me a couple minutes to get rolled over and stand up, none the worse for wear...and head into work.

I was doing ok, until I had driven to the first store on my route. About an hour and a half drive away, and
I tried to get out of my semi, THAT was a challenge!

Unloading I'd loosen up again, only to stiffen up during the drive to the next...and that was my day.

Needless to say heating pads and Advil were order of the day when I got home.

My wife still laughs that my falling down steps sounded like a car accident...
I don't find it nearly as funny.

Be careful out there folks, it's slippery!

Be Well!

Beastly Bear


  1. Hahahahaha! It's just one of those things that's not funny but it is funny.. Much like my little spill on the mounds of snow I'm certain my bro in law plowed up just to make a stumbling block for me, I'm certain of it, well stumble I did! - Feeling better today. Thanks for the shout out. :) And after I stopped laughing I was glad you were okay. :)

    1. My loving wife laughed AGAIN reading my blog!!! Such compassion! Lol

  2. Sorry to have a chuckle at your expense but I did. lol Hey we've all been there. In Nov of 2012 I fell on our icy deck and the pain in my left elbow didn't go away for 6 months. I remember seeing a businessman up in Boston fall on the icy street and I was hysterical, pee your pants laughing so hard. I couldn't help it. I'm cracking up now at the image of him in his nice suit, trench coat and hat with his arms pinwheeling trying to catch his balance...swinging a briefcase around in one hand. lmao

    1. That's OK JoJo, gotta chuckle about it myself....especially that she thought a car hit our house!!! Lol!!!