Den of the Beastly Bear
What the hell is the deal with the phone/radio and the crapper?!?
At work:
I have gone for four hours without a single phone call. But let me drop my pants around my ankles....and my personal phone, my business phone, and my radio all go off at once!!! It's like the freakin' Muscular Dystrophy Telethon up in here!
It's like there's some sadistic cosmic switchboard operator(I picture an evil Lily Tomlin with horns and a pointed tail) intent on ruining the few moments of peace I get each day!!!
At work:
I have gone for four hours without a single phone call. But let me drop my pants around my ankles....and my personal phone, my business phone, and my radio all go off at once!!! It's like the freakin' Muscular Dystrophy Telethon up in here!
It's like there's some sadistic cosmic switchboard operator(I picture an evil Lily Tomlin with horns and a pointed tail) intent on ruining the few moments of peace I get each day!!!
It’s not bad enough I spend all day fixing other people's mistakes!!! Running from one end of the plant to the other, and I can't even get a few minutes of peace???
And it's always something that could wait...
At Home: This problem even follows me there. For there, I have two lovely receptionists...one named Mama Bear and one named Princess Bear who answer the phone most of the time, because it's rarely for me!!!
But let them leave...
Oh, that's when she starts her fun, that sadistic bitch!
Because at home I never carry the phone with me!
So when the feeling is upon me, the phone is usually in the family room some 20 odd feet away!
Now I know that there are those of you out there that can just let the phone ring and answer it when you're done. But I am a worrier! I worry about my girls, and when the phone rings horrible scenarios start speeding through my mind. What if it's them and they need me? And I don't pick up???
So I jump up, one arm holding my pants to about knee height while I duck hop and waddle to the phone. Knock it over on the floor, reach for it...kick it further away with my waddles, almost fall over as the belt buckle gets stuck under the chair, finally snatch it up and....
1-800-GUTTERS
AAARRRGGGHHHH!!!!
And as I shuffle my dejected way back to the bathroom, I notice I've attracted an audience...the dog and both cats are watching me like I've lost what little's left of my mind!
And I hear Lily Tomlin laughing "One ringy-dingy, two ringy-dingy... *snort*...HaHaHa!!!"
Bitch!
Be Well Folks!
An inconvenienced,
Beastly Bear
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! NOW you know what it feels like to be a mom! Every.Single.Time! And you can't lock the door because those scenarios play out.. Seriously tho, if it's an emergency don't you think they'll call back? I mean what are the chances you end up in that movie, "Taken?" - Although that's a scary thought in and of itself..
ReplyDeleteYou never know MiMi....it could happen! Lol
DeleteYes, theoretically I KNOW that if there's an emergency they'll call back, but what if they can't? Irrational? Yes, guilty.
That used to happen to me every time I was alone at my law office and had to pee. The second I entered the washroom, the phone would start ringing off the hook. There was no one else to answer the phone for me. If it was an emergency (on my part that is), I let the call go to voice mail. As a result I'm the faster peer in the world. lol
ReplyDeleteThat's supposed to be 'pee-er', not peer.
DeleteHaha that's funny JoJo! If they ever add speed peeing to the Olympics, you'll bring home the "gold" !!! Lol
DeleteThanks for stopping by!